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So, work was totally boring today.
It was slow all day long. I think maybe, three people at most came in. I cheerfully greeted each of them and none of them even bothered to look up and acknowledge it. They lapped the store once and then left.
Sigh.
I need a better job, but I love my job. Even if it's simply because I get to sit and read all day, or because he comes in everyday.
It's stupid really. I know. I'm lazy. I'm not afraid to admit it. Quiet little used bookstore. That's what's so great about it. I've never had to deal with obnoxious costumers. People who come in here tend to want to be your best friend. Well, except for those few extremely shy people. You know, the ones that are hardly ever caught without a book in their hand, unless they are watching some kind of Anime, or at a store buying themselves another. I get a lot of those. Usually the same bunch. But that goes for all the costumers. Most of them are regulars.
I like that. If they paid me better, my job would be heaven. But I guess I can't expect much for just sitting on my arse all day, reading, and chatting with people for 8 hours every day.
Anyway.
About him. I wonder how old he is. twenty five maybe? He can't be thirty. He looks young, but not extremely. I used to greet him when he came in. But now, every time he comes in, I find myself falling week at the knees. My stomach starts doing something weird, and my face heats up like crazy. I half wonder if he notices.
I usually try to keep myself buried behind my book and pretend like I don't notice that he's come in. It's hard not too though. I mean, the bell on the door chimes loud and clear every time anyone enters or exits the store. Sp he has to know that I'm just avoiding talking to him.
Today he kept smiling at me. He usually just goes off to the back of the store and pretends to read while periodically watching me. I know this because, when he's here, I'm pretty much doing the same exact thing.
How lame is that? To sit there and pretend to read while watching each other. Any normal person would probably consider it pretty creepy. But maybe he's waiting for me to say something. I don't have it in me to talk to him.Just looking at him alone, makes me go speechless. If he tried to talk to me, Id probably stutter like an idiot.
He must have lapped the store 6 times. Briefly pretending to look at titles. He'd look up and smile at me for several seconds and then move on. Then he just left. He must have gave up on me because I refuse to offer any kind of communication. I always feel disappointed when he leaves...I don't know why.
I wonder what his lips feel like. Is he a good kisser? Is he the slow, deep and passionate kisser, a wet, fast, rough kisser...or maybe he's a pecker...
Brother, I sound like a school girl with a crush! I'm so lame. Twenty one, still living with my parents, crappy paying job at a used bookstore, no boyfriend, and the most socializing I do, is when the regulars stay to chat for a little while before leaving, or when I hit the drive-thru espresso stands and order coffee. And I'm going on and on about a guy I don't even know.
I need a life.
I'm glued to my parents, I'm glued to my home. My parents don't seem to mind. They're always telling me, "Jackie, you know you can stay home for as long you want. We like having you home. You're our baby girl. It would feel lonely without you."
I think a lot of it has to do with Christopher.
Sigh.
I miss you Christopher. We all do.
We still haven't gotten used to not having him around anymore. I don't think we ever will.
Just face it Jackie. You're going to be single and lame all your life.
I love my parents too much. If a man ever wants to marry me, they'll have to drag me out of the house and down the aisle...
Kicking and screaming.
Shudder.
I can't even see myself married right now. No. I like how things are right now. But, if I like things this way so much, how come I can't stop thinking about him. How stupid is it, to have feelings for a guy you've never even really spoke to?
There is seriously something wrong with me.
 DearKoyangi · Fri Oct 31, 2008 @ 11:40am · 0 Comments |
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