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I never fully let myself cry at college. Until things happened. Now, I only let go when I'm really hurting.

Just twice.

When he broke up with me. And now I laugh in his face, And know he's nothing like what I've got. Really, did you have to make me stay to "comfort me"? You left me for your ex girlfriend, and then practically dragged me into your arms to say you were sorry and it was okay. That hurt so much. I felt horrible, you telling me how much you cared for me, and how sorry you were. Loser. You thought I'd miss you? I move on. You hoped I'd be pining?! What. The. HELL.
The second time, when the second time boy told me he told my best friend that I'd kissed him. He was a g**-d*** sexual outlet. There was NOTHING. And I had to BEG him to let me tell anyone. Then he went an told her, because she asked when they played the "Truth Game" I'd been lying to her for a week through omission. So I freaked out. And went incommunicado for two hours.
But the best part was, when I as completely upset, and couldn't tell any of the people I usually tell, the entire Phase II building, I thought of you. I realized I wanted to have you around more than I did at the time. And that wish came true.
Now, the look in your eyes scares me, and I want to know what it means. I can't meet it for long, but it's beautiful, and new,and strong and frightening.