Even when everything is fine, there will always be something wrong. That line, what does it really mean? I wouldn't know.
Everything seems so wrong. Nothing is right. But is it? Is everything really wrong? I have friends that I love and would never trade away. But I also have friends that I just really wish I never met. But just thinking won't change anything. You have to act to make things happen. Issues don' resolve itself.
Hate is a strong word, but everyone uses it so many times it's just childish. I know I use it too, and I know I'm not the most mature person, but at least I know the difference of right and wrong. Hate...I hate that bad things do happen to me. I hate that my life isn't perfect. I hate how people act when I know I don't hate who they are. But hating doesn't do anything either.
My boyfriend is doing things to me that I wish he wouldn't do. He's a really sweet guy, but lately he's changed for the worse. He wouldn't talk to me now, but it isn't a surprise to me and shouldn't be one to you, since we never really talked before. But it feels so wrong now, the whole relationship. So fake. It never felt right, but when he told me he liked me, the whole world seemed to lighten. So why did everything lead to this? Where he's ignoring me. Wont even look at me. I have no idea, and it hurts when he's doing it, even when I don't love him. I know that for a fact, and I know he doesn't love me either. But even so, do we even like each other enough to the point that we should go out? I don't know.
It's my fault too, I know that. I should have talked to him more, been less shy. But he wasn't exactly romeo either. I don't even know why I went out with him, he only had 2 of the characteristics I wanted in a boyfriend...so why?
The answer? It hurts to think that the answer really describes me;
"To only love to be in love"
I don't want to be like that, to love only being in love, and not love the guy. But I have to act to change anything.
People are telling me to just breakup with him, but we haven't even been out for a month.
What's wrong with me? Or with him?
Maybe I've learned a lesson; think about it, really think about it, before going with a guy.</3
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Diary of a City Girl
Yepp, my sad cuddly diary
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