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What is going on with my life?!?

Posted by: Tatsumi Takeshima Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 01:20am

Proud Haruhiist [1][2]

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Tatsumi Takeshima
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Commented on: Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 01:22am


	Eh...I don't think this turned out right the way I wanted it to be. I kinda screwed up again, I'm so sorry that I've been avoiding my duties....I'll try to do better next time sweatdrop

Commented on: Thu Oct 20, 2005 @ 12:21am


	No, no. Not at all. I liked it. But the only thing that I'd recommend trying to fix, is changing everything to a past-tense form. It seems like, by the way you're writing, that you seem to be stuck using present-tense words. And sometimes, you're even combining the two. Ex: "She stops and thinks for a moment." This should be changed to: "She stopped and thought for a moment." You know, I may be wrong, but it just seems to me that this would seem a little better. But, I still love the story so far! I didn't know you had finished part four. Can't wait for you to issue the next one. -Yokiko_Masami

Yokiko_Masami
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