I'm Not Afraid
I do not fear the sun,
the earth,
the rain.
I do not fear the bugs,
the spiders,
the snakes,
those chains.
The rapping of the cans,
and, the way you throw me to the floor.
I'm not scared of that whip,
or that book,
or even that door.
Where you and your buddies,
drug addicts and abusers,
hide away and beat me
like I'm such a big loser.
How it's quiet in the morning
but loud at night.
When the party starts
and, so do the fights.
When you decide it's time to play
I end up here and it's all the same.
I'm lying upon the floor and I see my blood leak
cracks are filled
and, I can still hear my heart beat.
But when will this end?
When will it stop?
Never, I know, you've told me yourself.
I'm too worthless to live, too vital to die.
I'm the waitress, the one who pays the bills
That booze on your breath comes out of my paycheck
Though I'm only twelve.
Momma escaped, so why can't I too?
The Man says God hates me,
But Momma, you told me he don't, and I believe you.
And as I lie on the floor,
covered in blood like all the sad stories before,
I wonder if God's just buyin' his time
or maybe it's pain that I just need more.
But Momma escaped, and so will I.
If ever this torture ceases to be,
I've got Momma waitin' and I'm not afraid
to stand up to The Man and hear him bade
my life goodbye but I never do
for Momma says it ain't today.
Ain't my time, she told me once.
And I listen to Momma, and not to you.
Wings
Daddy told me that all people had wings once,
that we all had pretty little feathers that fluttered about.
Big sister said that what Daddy says ain't true, we were born evil and that was that.
But I don't believe her, I think she's just mad.
Because Daddy just don't have enough money for her favorite hat.
And how we have to clean and scrub the floors
On our hands and knees
Sweeping the dust out the door.
I think she's mad that we ain't rich like everybody else
How all the kid's at school got brand new clothes
And we don't.
And the way the pretty girls look at her
Faces scrunched up in scorn.
And the boy that she likes, so tall and sweet
She could never beat the other girls to him, such a treat.
And how she looks at the Mommas when they take their kids to school
And how we have to walk, even when it's cool.
I know Daddy don't have too much money, but she shouldn't be so sad,
We've got a roof over our heads and for that we should be glad
Or how we do get snacks
On Friday evenin's
And at least we're still alive
At least we're still breathin'.
But Big Sis don't see that
She's just too jealous
And sees right through us.
I love Big Sister; you know I do,
But I just wish she'd stop cryin'
Over little things too
'Cause she gets more than me, at least
I do more chores than she
She too busy out, jumpin' to the beat
At night with friends that aren't really hers
Moochin' money she don't deserve
She don't work for it
I bet she steals too
Just 'cause Daddy don't have enough money
I don't think I'll ever see the justice of that,
Do you?
Sea of Pearls
The day the sea is made of pearls is the day Momma says, "I love you."
The day people are makin' money off of seaweed is the day Daddy stops drinkin'
The day the sand don't feel like old bread crumbs rubbin' against your skin is the day big sister Angela come home.
The day ocean water don't burn your throat is the day my big brother gets outta jail.
The day the sun ain't blisterin' the skin is the day Momma stops crackin' the whip.
The day rain don't mess up your afternoon is the day somebody finally notices the bruises
The day you first go to the beach is the day Momma tells me I can't.
The day I go to the beach is the day Momma'll stop whippin' me,
And I know that'll never happen.
Well, what do you think, they okay?
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Suburban Jesus
High upon the chainlink cross.
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