Steven told me a while ago that he might be joining the Marines. I think it's great and all, it was something I wanted to do myself at some point or another, but when he mentioned he might be leaving the country...
I dunno. It just kinda hit me that I wouldn't see him for a while. And it was really, really sad. I care about him a lot, and to be perfectly honest, I don't want him to leave me here. Even if I were to move to go to college.
I mean, yeah, it'll happen. But it's only an hour and a half away, I can come visit every two weeks. But if he leaves the country, then it'll be pretty much impossible. When he told my sister he might be leaving I started crying...
He asked me why I was sad and if it was something he had said. I told him no and just buried my face on his chest and just kept crying while he held me. I want to be selfish and tell him, but I just can't do that.
I mean, what if he doesn't do it because I tell him I don't want him to go? I can't do that to him, it would be selfish of me. But at the same time I can't just keep it to myself you know? I want him to stay so badly...
So here I am, writing this all down so I can get it out someway. I think I really am falling for him. He's like what I always pictured as the perfect boyfriend, minus the six-pack. But that's okay, he has sexy arms instead. <.<
So yeah... I dunno if I'll tell him or not. I guess I'm just afraid that something bad will happen to him, or that we won't talk for a few years. I hope we do if that ends up happening, because he's very important to me...
 Annabella Goddess Of Ice · Wed Dec 24, 2008 @ 05:04am · 0 Comments |
