She eyes popped out and bugges open, taking a deep breath in through her nose. She ran her hands along her face to feel that she was still alive. The first glint of sunlight appeared, and she heard faint shrieks and running off in the distance. Something wasn't right.
She got up and started to walk. There was a slight breeze, and she didn't hear any voices, everything seemed at peace. So she walked, she didn't run. She hung her head down, staring at the ground. Her shadow stretched long behind her, showing her every move. After walking for a few minutes, she finally heard a voice.
"You're beautiful." She looked up. There was nobody she could see. "Come here, closer." She looked over to a big tree and walked over to it. She was uneasy, but did as she was told. "You look so sad, are you good?" What? her mind seemed to communicate with them. Her mouth was still sewn, feeling more and more numb by the second. "Are you good or wicked?" The voice was calming, almost familiar. I think I'm good. What's the difference? She had a quizzical look on her face. "Good girls don't look so sad. Wicked girls usually roam around here. Then we fix them. You looked fixed, almost."
She took a seat on the ground. So wicked girls are sad, and you fix them like this? She outstretched her arms and looked down at herself. Stitches and bruises and buttons and that red checked dress. This hardly seems good. It's cruel. The voice took a deep breath in, then released the air out causing the moss to move some. "We fix them so they aren't wicked. Good girls never frown. Good girls have shiny eyes. Good girls feel no pain. Good girls are....well....dolls."
This shocked her. She leaned in more to the tree and felt her stomach turn. And those who cannot be saved and made good? The voice was silent for a long time. "They don't live to be good. They stay wicked here." Another long silence. And where is here? he mind felt raspy, like a sore voice. "Tis' a murderer's den you've entered. We've tried to warn you." She thought about this. So I can't be saved? You were trying to warn me the whole time? Pushing me off of a cliff, drowning me, smothering me....those are all warnings.
"We only fix you here. And if you cannot be fixed, we tell you we will kill you. We tell you to run, but we do not tell you where to run. We can only give you help. We tried to awaken your senses. Giving you pain, but taking away your voice. All of tohse were your wickedness showing. We tried to get rid of you." The voice sounded somewhat sympathetic to her. And the first time I came, you tried to fix me. The second time, you tried to fix me again. But I cannot be fixed? Even if you try again? she started playing with the sand in her hands. Keeping herself busy. She kept aware of her surroundings, ready if this was a trap.
"Yes, that's right. We could try again, but you'd have to give up. No more trying. Your wickedness shall be punished." The voice sounded serious again. It looked out some, and she saw its shadow. Even though there was light, the darkness was still upon them. She could only see an outline and its eyes. You sound oddly familiar. Do I know you? "Yes, you do. I have no name here, my wickedness was punished. But I'm stuck here. It seems like just yesterday. Everything travels so fast here, or so slow, I forget." The voice sounded confused and lost. Yes, she knew what this was. And why were you sent here? "Same as you, my heart had broken. But my demonds became my friends. I love you." That response gave her the answer. I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I just wish.... tears came into her eyes. Those tears started to fall, and as they hit the ground, little flowers grew in the spots. The flowers wilted after feeling the air and seeing the darkness.
"Please don't cry. I hated it when you cried. It always hurt me. It still does." She looked up at the tree and extended her arm to touch it. It was soft and spongy and wet. Do you like it here? he asked through her clouded mind. "It's the only place I know now." She looked back down and more tears flowed out. "Please don't cry anymore." I'm so sorry. When you weren't around after everything, I worried. Then I found out what happened, and I can't help it. Tears and tears dropped down, soon creating a small encirclement of wilted flowers around her. "I've been watching you for a while. I know what I did. I'm sorry. I can't ever forgive myself."
She ran her hands along the hem of the dress and wiped her eyes. Can I stay here with you? I don't like being alone anymore. There was an unbearable long silence before the voice answered. "Come here. I'll cut the stitches. I'll give you back your heart. I'll finally hold you in my arms again." The person stepped out of the tree covering and stood by it. He was just as she remembered. She got up, and walked to him slowly, and he grabbed her hand. He pulled out a knife and cut her stitches. She opened her mouth, and no words came out at first. She touched her lips, they were stinging and big and felt bloody and scabbed and hurt.
She looked down and thought about what to do. "You can only speak the truth at first, so nothing much will really come out. Only what's real and in your heart will pass your lips. And even after a while, you will never be able to lie. It's just how it works."
After hearing this, she thought and thought. She looked at him. Am I dead? fear struck in her eyes. "Yes." She started to cry some again. "Don't worry. You passed peacefully in your sleep. Every thing about you has been returned to normal. It's like nothing ever happened." His voice eased her mind about it. "Do you know what to say first?" she saw his eyes weren't buttons like hers, but then she felt her eyes weren't buttons either. She started into his eyes as tears welled up in hers. She licked her lips, then cringed at the feeling. Regaining composure, she knew what to say. And it was the truth.
I love you too.
But she knew something. She could only speak the truth, so she needed to get it out.
"You don't love me. You do lie here. This is all a lie. You killed me for your own good. You just wanted to fell better about yourself. All you've ever done is hate me. That's all you ever do to me! You hurt me so much! All you do is hurt me! No matter how much I love you and care, you never believe me! You did this to me! You live for this! To screw me up so many times, just trying to prove yourself! I hate you I hate you I hate you!" she struck him.
She struck him again, and again, and again. He fought her off, throwing her to the ground. She let herself cry. She wouldn't stop crying. "Wow. Your a sad little girl aren't you." He looked down at her, she looked up at him. "Grow up." She had so much hate bottled up inside her for him. She picked up whatever she could and threw it at him. He turned to walk away. "I'm no done with you! I hate everything about you! I was glad you died! I can never stop loving you, and you just keep hurting me over and over again!" She looked at him, and he turned around and saw her. He shook his head and watched her get up and walk to the open spot again. She collapsed back down to her knees and threw her upper body to the ground.
"Why? Why did you do this to me?!" She screamed at the sky. He watched her silently. From her pocket, she pulled out a knife. She carried one with her in person everywhere, and she now since this was life, it had followed her here. "This is what you've done to me! This is why I'm this way!" She was trembling ferociously. She held it in her hands and thrust it into her chest. He realized what she had just done and ran to her, holding her in his arms. With her last breath, she told him the only thing she had ever known.
I love you. But I guess it wasn't enough.
With that, she went away from everything. She finally had gone.
 nangal · Sat Jan 10, 2009 @ 03:37am · 1 Comments |
