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Mysterious Reasons

Mysterious reasons.
For such strong feelings.
Why do I feel like this?
Everything that has happened,
Over the last four years
Isn't that enough?

Shouldn't that be my reason
My reason to obliterate my feelings
I tried to lock my heart away
I tried to fool myself
It's not working.

Driving me to the point of insanity
Insanity, would it really help?
Death, a better solution?
Could there really be some peace
For me after this life.

Question,
Why me?
What have I done
To deserve such punishment?
I shouldn't care.

I know I shouldn't,
But I just do.
I can't help it.
Something has been taken,
Taken from me.
A piece of me that I'll never get back.

Just help me.
I've done stupid things in the past.
I can't change them now,
But isn't it true you could change your future?
All I see right now is nothing for me.
There isn't anything here.

Not anymore.
I have a few friends, but they'll eventually branch off.
Then what?
How will I be able to cope alone?
Could I do it?
Could I do anything?

How can I say that I could,
When I can't even dismiss
These deep feelings I have
For someone who doesn't respect me.