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My Inner Tourment I can't sleep properly because i can move my feet. I hate being home alone because it's so quiet. I can't come home late at night alone because i forget you're gone... I wake up in the middle of the night because i think i hear Buster whine or bark in his sleep and then it all comes flooding back: he's gone. I've lost count of the amount of times i've silently crept out of my room to lock myself in the toilet since that day in November so Brett doesn't hear me cry. I've lost count of the hours of sleep i've lost when Brett's not home because the bed is so empty, and my dog used to fill that gap. The numerous tissues that have been used for the hours that i can't help but let the tears fall because i can't stop them. I feel guilty because i asked Brett to stay until i feel better and i still don't. As glad as i am that he pretty much lives with me, i don't want to be home alone because then all the memories come back and i can't help but break down... How can you smile when the main thing that made you smile is gone? It's not fair that cancer took my pup away from me... He was only 7yrs old... He still had years to go... I just want him back so much. I just want to come home and see his happy face when i walk in the door. I want to stop crying because i hate the pain that has been left behind. I just want one final hug... EDIT 04-02: Please, don't say that i can get another dog, I know no other would be as good as my Buster... My parents said that after Buster, no more pets... So unless a miracle happens, i only have my two goldfish. And thankyou all for making sure i'm ok, ily all <3

Posted by: N o i r Wafflesaurus Tue Feb 03, 2009 @ 02:17am

plz stalk me if that's your thing. i won't join your new rp or guild tho, sry xoxo
Waffles || 33 || Australian || debating a comeback
> character/post schedule <

User Comments: [2]

Rehvenge Arcanon
Community Member

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Tue Feb 03, 2009 @ 06:41pm

Awww tis so sad. you could find a new one. i won't replace the one you lost but it might help a bit. although retraining it might prove to be annoying. anyways good luck with your inner tourment. Ill be around if you need me or want to talk.

~David

Toadybear
Community Member

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Wed Feb 04, 2009 @ 04:40am

.... *crawls through screen to give you a big hug* crying

i know exactly how you feel crying while my Hoggie didn't die of cancer, her did die because of calcium build up in his spine. he went from ttly fine to gone within 48 hours crying crying crying

and joy died from being poisoned with radiator fluid,...and ink died from calcium buildup in his legs... emo

i not helping much am i? sweatdrop

go ahead and cry, and be sad, you've lost a best friend and family member. just don't sink into it for too long. your little buddy was always happiest when you were happy. soon that void will seem a little smaller and those happy memories with your pup will bring smiles instead of tears.

*big squeeze before popping back into the computer*

crying

User Comments: [2]

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