Dear Sir:
Do you have a son named Gimli, by any chance?
Is your father's name Groin?
Do you hate sindar elves who sing and dance?
Would you fight for a silver coin?
Do you lie awake at night
And make the good professor roll?
You could have been a smith, a knight
Instead of 'Bob' the infamous troll!
Hear, hear, master Bob Gloin!
Do not be ashamed of your race,
Change your name to Bobli to make amends!
A dwarvish name will make you join
Your noble kin without disgrace:
Fili, Kili, Gimli and all their friends!