Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

This whole Jon thing keeps getting more interesting. Some new developments have happened, and I don't know whether this will turn out to be good or bad...

On Thursday, I was sitting by my best friend on the bus, and after we let the kids off at the trailer park, I went back to sit by Jon. I wanted to make sure I talked to him that day, because Saturday is his birthday, and I wanted to wish him a happy birthday. I started by saying I wanted to take off my belt and give him his birthday spankings...classic me. We made of further small talk, and then I sat there for a few moments, trying to think of something to say. The back of the bus was semi-crowded, with there being two people in the seat across from us, my best friend in the seat kitty-corner from us, and my other friend in front of my best friend, I didn't think anything would happen. But, the next thing I know he's grabbing my leg again and rubbing my crotch (through my jeans). I start to rub his d**k through his jeans also. I was just getting ready to stick my hands down his pants, when I happen to look over and my friends are staring at me, and my best friend has this horrifed look on her face. I giggled, and uttered "oh my God," but I stopped myself from saying or doing anything else in my embarressed state, not wanting Jon to take anything the wrong way and think that I didn't want him. I took my hand away, and Jon did the same. My Best friend was like "Oh my God! What the hell?!" My other friend started saying something, but I couldn't make out all of it. Something about "she wants you Jon." She also said something about celebrating Valentine's Day. I turned to Jon and was like "Oh yeah, you want to ******** on the bus?!" He said "Do you?" I said something like "I'd like to." My friends started whispering to one another, obviously about me, and I just sat there thinking "Oh s**t, my friends know. And on top of it all, the mood is ruined now." Just about that time, Jon starts to stick his hand down the back of my pants. I was thinking "Wow. He must not care anymore about who sees this." I was really embarrassed because the whole bus probably knew about it by now, but I couldn't say no to him. So, as he stuck his hands down the back of my pants, he grabbed my a**, and then proceeded to finger my a*****e. I can't believe he actually did that! I was like "Holy s**t!" That's definitely a first for me. It wasn't that bad though. I thought it would hurt, but it just felt weird. It would probably be a lot different with a d**k though (lol). He then stuck his hands down the front of my pants and started to finger me there. But alas, it was then time for him to get off.

I think my friend was kind of horrified by the whole situation. She was like "You were just sitting there with his hand on your crotch, just like it was no big deal, like you were just having a conversation!" I said that "It wasn't a big deal, and it's not like it's the first time it's happened." So, needless to say, she really thinks I'm a full-blown whore. Not that I don't feel like one though. She didn't make any comments about it, so I don't think she seen that my hand was on his crotch. That's good I guess. It gives her less ammunition, because as it is, I'm never going to live this down. She said she could never look at me the same again, I just hope it doesn't negatively affect our friendship, like she really starts not to like me. This is why I didn't tell her these details in the first place. She doesn't seem to be very loyal or understanding.

I'm really not happy that my other friend knows about it. She has the biggest mouth in the world, so a thousand people will probably know about it soon. She'll probably make smart a** comments all the time to Jon and I. I just hope he doesn't care and doesn't stops talking to me because of it.

Hopefully all goes well, because sometime this week I'm going to attempt to grow a pair and ask him to prom. Once again, I just have to take this thing one day at a time and see where it goes/what happens.