i hate it ..
i felt so good, just going out with the boys after exams
even said to shellz gona be the 1st outing without drinks , without drugs
gona watch a movie , was so psyked .. reali feeling good.
stopped past shellz house , i miss her so much , just to say hey ... just to look at her face .. makes me feel good .. all set up to be a perfect night. walked up to glenny, nobody at the station.. oh datz alrite , saw rada along the way .. said hey
alex , chilled with them for awhile.. hmm they didnt come , called shahin 5 min .
was dredding it ... waited 5 . and called him again. he then said 2 and he was walking down with bui and vivek.. sounds ok ..
but they came from the topside .. voilet crumble side ..
*ok somthings not right* change of plan .. ash's house
ok ok i can deal .. when we got there ... safeway got 2 chickens 2kilogram of meat and jus in short plenty food .. and 6 bottles of passion pop.. sigh.. they were aming to get drunk.. i felt so conned .. they had to lie to get me out to drink with them.. bottem out 1 . ok ill go with it
only drank 2 cups and thats after eating. they all sat down .. listned to music and
started to talk
drunk talk . tipsy adleast .. about life and what not .. but it killed me so bad ..
i started to feel like s**t when they were talking about mitch and loyalty.. reali killed me .. i set there so quiet .. * crumpled up inside. *
i felt betrayed .. and i was guilty of being the betrayer
called curtis .. he said he was gona be there but he sounded waisted..
he didnt come.. dad picked me up .. i didnt feel physicali bad ..
just torn up emotionaly .. its so bad because i was happy.. just today joking
just reali happy.
just came out of a hole .. and now .. i dont want to drink anymore .. not for awhile
i feel like telling the truth.. but .. i carnt .. i hate it .. its killing me
slowly killing me .
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Kav's Journal
Random events and emotions worth documenting.
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