Well as you may or may not know. I am actually very infintile what with the way I sleep, suck my thumb, drink warm milk and I even carry a teddy bear around with me at times. I am mainly very quiet and half the time have my thumb in my mouth though my friends at school (no I don't take the bear with me to school) have started to make fun of my actions.
I recently took my bear with me into the hobbie shop and took it around my friends house where I spent the night and the next day we went to Exeter along with two other guys and a girl.Thats Kay, Brett, Alex, Oz and me. Anyway Lee apparantly told some people at shool and it didn't take long to get around. They also found out that I like to call Jessica 'mummy'.
So when Ben Wilson saw me today in the sixth form comman room (I'm still year 11 but it was a taster day.)Ben asked me about the bear and I looked over at Luke because I had told him because I can trust him. He pointed to Lee and he said he told. So I thought. What is that to tell people you know from school. Was that dumbness or is it away to distract them all from messing around with him and to make fun of me instead. I don't believe it. I try and protect him where ever he goes. I even act the older brother only whenever he is around. Its the only time I act older.
It might have been Luke. I haven't talked to Lee yet. But why would Luke tell others? I don't know who to trust really. no one really cares for my feelings. So now what am I supposed to do? hmmm maybe I should just grow up seeings how no one cares for me no matter what age I am.
No what am I saying? Of corse they care for me. They all do. I'm sure Jessica cares whereever she is. But what if she died? What if she is not who she says she is? I managed to talk to a girl called Leslie, she lives in America and we chatted on the phone. She has a cool accent. How comes its so hard for Jessica. Maybe Jessica isn't real or maybe it was all some joke but with all the conversations we had.....No I believe in Jessica
I'm gonna go into school tomorrow with my head held high. Just like Jessica would say. Nathan, Luke, Dan if your reading this. Let me be who I wanna be. No I will not bring a bear into school rofl
Theres no point being depressed. I gotta look at the bright side. And stick with my friends. they really are only messing around. But I need to talk to Lee about why he told. I'm sure he meant no harm.
EDIT: Today is much better. It doesn't seem so bad. People have accepted that I'm infintile. Lee said he told Mike about the bear thing it slipped out apparantly. I still see him as a brother. Now I'm just trying to be alot happier and acting the way I want too. Everything seems just the way it should. Now all I gotta hope for is that I see Jessica again. When I do I will definally change my last name to Ketner.
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A childs journal
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