Random quote I found...
But think about it, how can you be "fake" when you don't even know who or what you want to be. Highschool changes everything.. Friends, idols, the way you think, you choose how your life starts out. If you ******** up hopefully you can change it.. If not your screwed for life over something you didn't want to think about at 18. And how do you trust when all before have ******** with your emotions. You then get to the point where you don't let anyone in. Then your told that you "need to try again and let people in". But what if it hurts and you re-live the pain of all the people who ******** with you in that short few secounds that you converse with the new person?? How do I get so numb for the world, to just meet someone who I trust but now am scared to let him get any closer.. How do I let my heart know that I belive its ok and Hes aloud in when my body says no.. Why do I get told constently what a "great person" I am when I feel lost and unable to trust or let anyone know me? Why dose that person who is my mask get loved but when I express myself the world shuts down and closes my doors? Why should I be the only one opening up? I know its hard but gah I just think it might be better if I was anti-social.... Then people wont get hurt and most of all I wont be able to hurt those that I love, I wont be able to lash out when I think there getting to close. I wont have to fight anymore, no more pain. I can't decide how its all going to end up.. All I can do is hope that I didn't ******** up my life again by not going to school after highschool and that welding is really good for me. Also that my love will be happy if were together or not. Though I hope we are, I wont be able or want to have another man in my life. But only time will tell of all of this. Only time....
