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So, we all know I've kind of been wanting to go to prom, but was officially saying I wasn't going because I didn't have a date and knew by now I wasn't going to get one. I still would have went if Ann said she was going, because she wouldn't have a date either, and that way I would know I wouldn't be "ditched" by all my other friends with their dates. I asked her back in January if she was going to prom, and she said "I don't know. Probably not." I told her that she should go, but to let me know when she decided for sure either way. Well, she never talked about it anymore, or gave me a response either way, so I figured she wasn't going. Then, I think two Fridays ago, she asked me "Are you going to prom?" I obviously answered "No. Why, are you?" "Your not?! Well, I was thinking about it. There is this guy from my church I wanted to ask. I'll probably end up going to his prom though. Why aren't you going?" I nearly exploded. I wanted to slap her across her face. She knew about Jon turning me down and how bad I wanted a date, and that I probably wouldn't go without a date. Did she totally forget about those facts, choose to ignore them, or is she just an idiot?! I was like "Umm, maybe because I asked you if you were going back in January and you basically said no, and then you knew about how bummed I was over Jon! Now there is only like a month until prom. So no, I'm not going." Seriously, I asked her about this back in January, and she didn't have to common courtesy to tell me what she had decided. And she could say anything like "it never came up," because Jacob and I had talked about prom before and she was there. She could have chimed in at any time. I told my mom about what she'd said, and she said some negative stuff about Ann, of course, but she also said some other stuff that made it sound like I could go if I wanted to. I thought about it, but nothing had really changed and now I only had a month, so I figured I still wasn't going to go.

Then, the Saturday following, Ann calls me and asks if I want to go to prom with her sister. I was like WTF?! She explained that her sister’s friend was over, found out prom was on a boat, and wanted to go. Since Ann and I didn't have dates, Ann wanted to buy her sister's friend a ticket and I buy her sister a ticket. I didn't think my mom would care, so I said I guess I would do it. My mom was pissed though. She pointed out how that was stupid (which it is) and that I had told her and told her I wasn't going (which I did). So she said I couldn't go now even if I wanted to. I totally understood though. It was short notice, especially when I had planned on not going. So I told Ann and she just didn't understand. I said that we only have a month, and she acted like that was a year. She then said that she had a bubble dress and a pair of flats I could wear. A bubble dress and flats? First, a bubble dress is so not my style. Second, who the hell wears flats to prom?! Third, I don't want to wear someone else's s**t to prom! I told her my mom still wouldn't let me go (covering for the fact that I didn't want to go). Practically the whole weak she harped on me about convincing my mom to let me go. I told her I would try (not!).

The situation just pisses me off in a number of different ways. I really wanted to go and have a date, but I was pretty much ok with the fact I wasn't going, but this just added more "prom drama." Plus that fact that I asked Ann about all this back in January, and now she acts like 'OMG! WTF! You're not going?!" makes me want to punch her right in the jaw. She can be such a dumb, inconsiderate b***h sometimes. And then the fact that my mom was getting on my case with s**t like "Blah blah blah...if you wanted a date so bad you should have asked someone!" Come on! You don't think I thought of that?! I can't help it that I did ask someone and they turned me down (though she doesn't know that). Plus, is it so bad to want someone to ask me?! None of my guy friends even thought enough of me to ask me. I feel like a loser because practically anyone can find a date for prom. But hell, I can't even get a date when I ask someone. I wouldn't be this worried about it if prom wasn't on a boat. That's way cool, and a once in a lifetime thing. Even if I go next year (which I probably will), it will probably just be in a boring room. And I can't sing "I'm On A Boat." Lol.

I realize this whole thing sounds stupid. I sound like one of those preppy girls who are like "OMG! Prom is the biggest night of my life! OMG!" I don't know why I'm so worked up about it. I think it's just the fact that I remember back in third grade I found out what prom was and wanted to go, and now, here I am, old enough to go, and I'm not because I'm ugly and can't get a date. It also the fact that my best friend keeps letting me down and not living up to my expectations of what a best friend should be like. Maybe, in a sense, prom is a physical symbol of how much like a reject I feel.