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xd It all started when I got the idea to do a Protoman Cosplay for the Avatar arenas xd

I recently had a failed cosplay; Toan the hero and main protaganist in the hit game, Dark Cloud. I thought it was a good idea at first but when I realized GaiaOnline had close to no orange cloths options, I knew I was doom. Reguardless, I went ahead and tried to do the cosplay justice. It was rather disappointment too crying After all the huge sucess of my earlier cosplay; A Valentines Day Johnny Bravo. (Which almost placed until a big smack of karma knocked me down a few peggs before final tallies were over and done with.)

cry Kinda sad and very discouraged, I led on a normal life as a Gaian as best I could. The only real reason I even wanted to place in the arenas was to simply be remembered. Now if you know me in real life, I've probably mention or hinted to the fact that one of my biggest fears in life and death is being forgotten. So to fail for the third time(technically the fourth) I was beginning to lose hope. emo

Cosplaying Avatars is hard work. xp Hunting for the items. Finding a good reference picture then making up a cool description as well. Not only those things, but also having to be able to purchase and then reproducing (most times) a huge icon such those of a celebrity, anime or cartoon character that several to many people are familar with. It's a lot of work to not only honor the icon and show a good representation of them, but enough to get the voters in the cosplay arenas to agree with your end result and vote a high rating, plus commenting a feed back and/or favoriting. Yeah...... rolleyes

So, a little while went by and I'm trying to come up with some ideas for my next cosplay. I'm looking through the older cosplay and original avatars to gain inspiration and then it hits me exclaim I should do Protoman from the MegaMan NT Warrior series!!! I had remember seeing a older version of a Protoman that won kinda/somewhat recently and I looked at it. Gotta say it was pretty epic. eek So, I thought why not the newer and updated model. Because let me tell ya there were tons of Classic Protoman Cosplays floating out there. stare And the one that won defintely deserve his keep.

This is the first time that I was actually attempting a cosplay that was already perviously done and try to win with an updated version. stressed Usually, I look thoroughly through the cosplay list past and present to make sure no one else has done what I'm about to try to do then go with that. However, I was really dry for ideas and I wanted to win bad twisted So I decided on Protoman from the NT Warrior or the EXE version of him.

neutral HOWEVER! Now just coming up with the idea, I had to scarmble together the most awesome, sweet, rich text, epic cosplay avatar of my LIFE!!! whee Which was not easy. I wanted to bring a new look compare to the original Protoman that had won. So, trying to do this, plus keep to Protoman's new look and trying to please my intended audience I began to panick. gonk I was freaking out; basically. lol

When I finally had the idea of Protoman's look together I was... eek There is no way, I'm gonna be able to pull this off. It's too hard. Everything wasn't right. The hair, the color of his cloths and junk, blah blah, stuff like that and most importantly what I need was so expensive! sad Then for some reason, I was like, HECK NO! I am going to get what I need! And I am going to win! mad I felt inside the most strongest desire to win. But knowing there were other people wanting the same thing, I had to struggle to push against the odds to win this and I was going to win NOW talk2hand

One of the biggest problem that remain was the gold issue. Even the amount I had was not enough! (Roughly~ 85,000) confused So, I decided to wait progressivly until the end of the week to see if I had saved up more. With the Daily Chances, Overseer and zOMG! I was confident to raise the money before the next entry deadline. However, it wasn't enough!!! pirate I was getting more angry by the second. idea So, then I decided okay well I'll have to sell some stuff back to the store and some monthly collectibles (MC) to raise some quick cash. IT STILL WASN'T ENOUGH!!! I was like, "Are you seriously kidding me!" Agrhha!!! scream

wahmbulance "NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!" wahmbulance

I felt so lost and alone then... ninja But my desire was still in me to win and I was NOT going to be forgotten so easily. I then decided to sell all my MC and all my items to raise the money. I emptied out my house from Gaia's Town, stripped my car of all it's part, and sold all my aquarium's inventory then finally I started on my own avatar: CloudstarVII's entire cloth and assesory selection. I don't know why, but as I sold the stuff I felt a deeping hole or a growing void inside myself. I was selling out all of my virtual selfs stuff to gain a, technically, invaild victory title. Even though I felt that way,... I continued on to sell all my items. (Now for those of you who don't know me well. This says a lot about me that I'm selling my items. In real life I keep almost everything throughout the years. So, with my Gaia account I keep all the items I got too.) With each item I sold I felt as though parts of me were slipping away. Each item that left brought back a moment in time for me in Gaia and in real life,... it was hard for me to let them go. neutral

Eventually, I raised enough gold to get what I needed. I bought the items. I set Cloud (my avi's nickname) to his Protoman; NT Warrior form then registered him for the upcoming Cosplay competition. I did all that was nessecary and he was ready to be voted and commented on. As I changed him back to normal I felt like I had betrayed my own avatar; accentually myself. I don't know why, but I knew it didn't sit right with me. Now the competition is almost over... Just so you know, the story I'm writting is in the same week of my cosplay entry. It's almost over and done with. neutral

Protoman's rank keeps fluctuating from 14 to 25. That's the best ranking any of my cosplay has ever done. It's still not enough to win though. The fifth cosplay that'll failed. So all of this was pointless. And just to hear me say that, kinda makes my heart cave in... oh well. You win some, you lose a lot.