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I do not know what to do. I know that Katie loves me... but today i feel like i was shown that her love is not as intense as mine is. She is going to meet a boy a friend has mentioned to her, and she said she is interested in how he seems to be. I am scared... but.. i do not know if i have the right to be. I am so afraid of being rejected... but i cannot be selfish! If he is more attractive and can make her happier than I... then i want her to be as happy as possible... but... i love her so much.. it will be really hard to let go...
I guess i have been a fool... i planned too far ahead... got ahead of the game completely. I thought that there was a chance we could be together forever... maybe... even.. a commitment ceremony! I don't know! I have never felt so in love and devoted to someone! I... I do not know what to do! I had planned on us being room mates next year so we could see each other and take care of each other.. I mean.. we can still do that... but.. i mean.. we could not be free to love each other without fear.. she could be with someone else... and... i would have to watch and love from afar... again.
I guess i will have to get used to being second place... i just wish i could learn to stop being a fool... just accept i can never have what i feel like i deserve.. or at least what i want...