1. Tell him Bella had decided to marry Jacob.
2. Tell hime you're looking for people to donate blood and ask if he would be so kind as to donate.
3. Tell him that you saw Mike Newton romancing Bella in the cafeteria on one of those days he went "camping"
4. Scream and yell in public about him being a stalker for watching Bella sleep every night and following her everywhere
5. Tell him you think his piano playing is horrible and you think he's tone deaf.
6. Go up to him and begin singing "I am a vampire" by Antsy Pants at the top of your lungs.
7. Ask him out.
8. Then ask him how old he is.
9. Then drop your jaw and say "Oh my gawd, you're OLD."
10. Imagine him naked while following him around.
11. Tell him that *you* know what Bella's thinking.
12. Try to take his pulse and then freak out when he doesn't have any.
13. Throw Holy water at him while screaming something about an exorcism when you learn he's a vampire.
14. Tell him he needs a tan and then take him to a tanning salon.
15. Tell him that Bella and Mike Newton make a good couple.
16. Randomly stare at him and when he asks you what you're looking at, repeat Number 9.
17. Go into his room and smash his CD collection and when he comes in, point at the mess of broken CD's on the floor, and say "Lookie, shiny."
18. Sit in the back seat of his car and yell at him to slow down, commenting on his driving in between screams.
19. Call him a stupid, shiny Volvo owner.
20. Tell him you think he's a sex god.
21. Then laugh and joke about him being a virgin.
22. Then call him the one hundred and seven year old virgin.
23. Every time he's near you, leap in front of a car and scream at him, asking to be saved.
24. Ask him why everyone in his family has more muscles than him.
25. Run around with a lighter, threatening to set him on fire if he comes any closer.
26. Show him a picture of Robert Pattinson and laugh at their resemblance.
27. Tell him Bella went to Italy to have Aro turn her into a vampire.
28. When he's in Italy, go up to him and say "Just kidding."
29. Begin to sing "The Llama Song" but change the words to be "here's a Cullen, there's a Cullen, and another little Cullen,, fuzzy Cullen
funny Cullen, Cullen, Cullen, truck!" right in his ear.
30. Ask him to turn you into a vampire.
31. When he tells you no, beg him and threaten him with Bella's life.
32. When he finally agrees to bite you, whisper "I can't wait until Bella hears this."
33. When he bites you, scream in agonizing pain and begin to cry while asking him "How could you do this to a perfect little girl like me?"
34. Once you change into a vampire, go up to Edward and tell him you bit Bella.
35. Tell him that he was right and her blood does smell amazing and you were unable to resist, sorry.
36. Tell him that you can now read his mind and that he should be ashamed at the... Grahic ways he pictures Bella.
37. Laugh when he explains himself and shake your head, saying you were only joking.
38. Tell him in public that you've seen him and Jacob sneaking around at night.
39. Wink at him when you do Number 38.
40. Push him into the sun and begin to sing "Diamonds are a Girl's best Friend."
41. Tell him that he looks cold and ask if you should get him a space heater.
42. Watch "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" and every time Cedric comes on the screen, scream "CEDWARD" at the top of your lungs.
43. Begin to use large and elegant words for an entire conversation, then ask him what you meant.
44. Kiss him and don't pull away even when he tries to push you off.
45. Every time Bella comes into the room, jump on Edward's back and whisper into his ear, "I'll be your spider monkey."
46. Buy him "blood pops" from Hogsmeade (Harry Potter reference)
47. Call him a "leech" "Bloodsucker" or "parasite" or a combination of all three.
48. Question about why he has a cross in his house if he's a vampire.
49. Go to the back of the Cullen's house and continuously throw rocks at their glass paned windows.
50. Throw garlic at him while screaming "DIE DIE DIE".
51. Purchase a "Bite me" Tee Shirt from TwilightTees and wear it everywhere.
52. Run around picturing yourself naked.
53. Follow him around all day, knowing that he can read your mind.
54. Run around picturing Bella naked.
55. Sit next to him in class and every time he looks over at you, run a hand through your hair and let the scent of you blood wash over him.
Or ask Mr. Banner to turn on the GIANT FAN!
56. Giggle randomly and when he asks you what your problem is, repeat Number 44.
57. Ask him what happened to Cedric at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Inquire that Carlisle is actually Voldemort in disguise
and Voldemort is really a vampire who attacked Cedric instead of killing him therefore, Edward Cullen.
58. Invite him to a bonfire at La Push.
59. Shove him over the boundary line.
60. Make him watch the 40 year old virgin.
61. Smile at him every five minutes while doing Number 60.
62. Buy him a pet dog and name it Jacob Black.
63. Tell Tanya Edward decided to take her back.
64. Video the catfight between Bella and Tanya.
65. Post that video on youtube.
66. Force him to eat human food.
67. Tell Rosalie that he thinks she's ugly.
68. Sit back and watch the results of Number 67.
69. Have Emmett challenge him to an arm wrestling match.
70. Get Mike Newton and Jacob Black to crash his wedding.
71. Sing "Seventeen Forever" by Metro Station.
72. Stab him with a pencil.
73. For Halloween, pour glitter on your face and walk around going "I'm Edward Cullen."
74. Call him your "cuddly wuddly Eddicans".
75. Ask him about Dracula, you know, his distant cousin?
76. Talk about how great Jacob is, how much you love Jacob, and how great Jacob is a better choice for him then Bella.
77. Tell him that he would be better off if he just ate Bella because, well, it's just going to happen anyways.
78. Cut your finger then run up to him and shove it in his face.
79. When he tells you to get away, push it back in his face and say "You *sure* you don't want it?"
80. Make a shirt that says "I kissed a wolf," on the front and "And I think I liked it." on the back and force him to wear it.
81. Go up to him and stare at him for a REALLY LONG TIME.
82. When he asks you what you're looking at, ask him if he's that guy from Harry Potter.
83. Say "I'm not scared of you."
84. Ask him why he doesn't have a cool scar on his head (Harry Potter reference).
85. Sit next to him in Biology and stare at him the entire time.
86. While in Biology, make yourself faint at the first mention of blood.
87. Drive slow.
88. When he says that he and Bella are getting married, look up and go "OMG Bella, are you preggo?"
89. When the wedding comes, invite the entire La Push pack.
90. When he gets mad, cry and fling yourself at him, swearing you were only trying to help.
91. For the reception, theme all the plates and cup and decorations Harry Potter.
92. Scold him for going out with Bella who's sooo much younger than him.
93. Buy Bella a Team Jacob shirt.
94. Buy him a Team Jacob shirt.
95. Spend hours cooking meals and offer him to eat them.
96. When he refuses, get all upset and run away crying.
97. Convince him to join the Track team.
98. Run around singing "Bella and Edward sitting in a tree, H-U-N-T-I-N-G!"
99. Slip love notes into his school locker and sign them Jacob Black.
100. Read New Moon.
2. Tell hime you're looking for people to donate blood and ask if he would be so kind as to donate.
3. Tell him that you saw Mike Newton romancing Bella in the cafeteria on one of those days he went "camping"
4. Scream and yell in public about him being a stalker for watching Bella sleep every night and following her everywhere
5. Tell him you think his piano playing is horrible and you think he's tone deaf.
6. Go up to him and begin singing "I am a vampire" by Antsy Pants at the top of your lungs.
7. Ask him out.
8. Then ask him how old he is.
9. Then drop your jaw and say "Oh my gawd, you're OLD."
10. Imagine him naked while following him around.
11. Tell him that *you* know what Bella's thinking.
12. Try to take his pulse and then freak out when he doesn't have any.
13. Throw Holy water at him while screaming something about an exorcism when you learn he's a vampire.
14. Tell him he needs a tan and then take him to a tanning salon.
15. Tell him that Bella and Mike Newton make a good couple.
16. Randomly stare at him and when he asks you what you're looking at, repeat Number 9.
17. Go into his room and smash his CD collection and when he comes in, point at the mess of broken CD's on the floor, and say "Lookie, shiny."
18. Sit in the back seat of his car and yell at him to slow down, commenting on his driving in between screams.
19. Call him a stupid, shiny Volvo owner.
20. Tell him you think he's a sex god.
21. Then laugh and joke about him being a virgin.
22. Then call him the one hundred and seven year old virgin.
23. Every time he's near you, leap in front of a car and scream at him, asking to be saved.
24. Ask him why everyone in his family has more muscles than him.
25. Run around with a lighter, threatening to set him on fire if he comes any closer.
26. Show him a picture of Robert Pattinson and laugh at their resemblance.
27. Tell him Bella went to Italy to have Aro turn her into a vampire.
28. When he's in Italy, go up to him and say "Just kidding."
29. Begin to sing "The Llama Song" but change the words to be "here's a Cullen, there's a Cullen, and another little Cullen,, fuzzy Cullen
funny Cullen, Cullen, Cullen, truck!" right in his ear.
30. Ask him to turn you into a vampire.
31. When he tells you no, beg him and threaten him with Bella's life.
32. When he finally agrees to bite you, whisper "I can't wait until Bella hears this."
33. When he bites you, scream in agonizing pain and begin to cry while asking him "How could you do this to a perfect little girl like me?"
34. Once you change into a vampire, go up to Edward and tell him you bit Bella.
35. Tell him that he was right and her blood does smell amazing and you were unable to resist, sorry.
36. Tell him that you can now read his mind and that he should be ashamed at the... Grahic ways he pictures Bella.
37. Laugh when he explains himself and shake your head, saying you were only joking.
38. Tell him in public that you've seen him and Jacob sneaking around at night.
39. Wink at him when you do Number 38.
40. Push him into the sun and begin to sing "Diamonds are a Girl's best Friend."
41. Tell him that he looks cold and ask if you should get him a space heater.
42. Watch "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" and every time Cedric comes on the screen, scream "CEDWARD" at the top of your lungs.
43. Begin to use large and elegant words for an entire conversation, then ask him what you meant.
44. Kiss him and don't pull away even when he tries to push you off.
45. Every time Bella comes into the room, jump on Edward's back and whisper into his ear, "I'll be your spider monkey."
46. Buy him "blood pops" from Hogsmeade (Harry Potter reference)
47. Call him a "leech" "Bloodsucker" or "parasite" or a combination of all three.
48. Question about why he has a cross in his house if he's a vampire.
49. Go to the back of the Cullen's house and continuously throw rocks at their glass paned windows.
50. Throw garlic at him while screaming "DIE DIE DIE".
51. Purchase a "Bite me" Tee Shirt from TwilightTees and wear it everywhere.
52. Run around picturing yourself naked.
53. Follow him around all day, knowing that he can read your mind.
54. Run around picturing Bella naked.
55. Sit next to him in class and every time he looks over at you, run a hand through your hair and let the scent of you blood wash over him.
Or ask Mr. Banner to turn on the GIANT FAN!
56. Giggle randomly and when he asks you what your problem is, repeat Number 44.
57. Ask him what happened to Cedric at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Inquire that Carlisle is actually Voldemort in disguise
and Voldemort is really a vampire who attacked Cedric instead of killing him therefore, Edward Cullen.
58. Invite him to a bonfire at La Push.
59. Shove him over the boundary line.
60. Make him watch the 40 year old virgin.
61. Smile at him every five minutes while doing Number 60.
62. Buy him a pet dog and name it Jacob Black.
63. Tell Tanya Edward decided to take her back.
64. Video the catfight between Bella and Tanya.
65. Post that video on youtube.
66. Force him to eat human food.
67. Tell Rosalie that he thinks she's ugly.
68. Sit back and watch the results of Number 67.
69. Have Emmett challenge him to an arm wrestling match.
70. Get Mike Newton and Jacob Black to crash his wedding.
71. Sing "Seventeen Forever" by Metro Station.
72. Stab him with a pencil.
73. For Halloween, pour glitter on your face and walk around going "I'm Edward Cullen."
74. Call him your "cuddly wuddly Eddicans".
75. Ask him about Dracula, you know, his distant cousin?
76. Talk about how great Jacob is, how much you love Jacob, and how great Jacob is a better choice for him then Bella.
77. Tell him that he would be better off if he just ate Bella because, well, it's just going to happen anyways.
78. Cut your finger then run up to him and shove it in his face.
79. When he tells you to get away, push it back in his face and say "You *sure* you don't want it?"
80. Make a shirt that says "I kissed a wolf," on the front and "And I think I liked it." on the back and force him to wear it.
81. Go up to him and stare at him for a REALLY LONG TIME.
82. When he asks you what you're looking at, ask him if he's that guy from Harry Potter.
83. Say "I'm not scared of you."
84. Ask him why he doesn't have a cool scar on his head (Harry Potter reference).
85. Sit next to him in Biology and stare at him the entire time.
86. While in Biology, make yourself faint at the first mention of blood.
87. Drive slow.
88. When he says that he and Bella are getting married, look up and go "OMG Bella, are you preggo?"
89. When the wedding comes, invite the entire La Push pack.
90. When he gets mad, cry and fling yourself at him, swearing you were only trying to help.
91. For the reception, theme all the plates and cup and decorations Harry Potter.
92. Scold him for going out with Bella who's sooo much younger than him.
93. Buy Bella a Team Jacob shirt.
94. Buy him a Team Jacob shirt.
95. Spend hours cooking meals and offer him to eat them.
96. When he refuses, get all upset and run away crying.
97. Convince him to join the Track team.
98. Run around singing "Bella and Edward sitting in a tree, H-U-N-T-I-N-G!"
99. Slip love notes into his school locker and sign them Jacob Black.
100. Read New Moon.
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