So... The love I thought was real for 2 years ended a few days ago... when he told me he never wanted to talk to me... I've begged... and pleaded for him to stay... I wanted our love to be different... A first love to work out... But I'm just... not good enough. I was never pretty... I've never been smart, I'm LD and ADHD... and from recent tests, another problem, Charles and I thought we solved, is back. Again, I'm suffering from MPD. Which is multiple personality disorder. My brain waves are completely messed up, and my doctor is telling me that it's been messing horribly with my moods... Causing terribly mood swings... sadly my doctor wasnt able to tell how long it's been this way. She was asking what kind of events had been happening, and i couldn't think of anything serious... aside from... Me and Him... and she said that it could be the cause of my mood swings... My doctor now knows that Charles is my first love, and she told me that many people have gone this way when losing a loved one.
Charles... you were my everything... you just.. had to take it all away.. and leave me with all this... You were my armor... With you, I was safe from everything... now I'm alone and have nothing to show for myself. The love I had for you will never go away, and it torments me so badly, knowing that you left me the way you found me... I go to bed everynight begging that I just don't wake up anymore. Cause nothing's worth it anymore. I haven't been to school in a full week cause i'm too unstable... Charles I NEED you in my life! it's not a matter of wanting anymore, although I do. I need you. I can't be without you anymore! Without you, I'm just a regret... for everyone.. When you were here, my parents started to think better of me, and my sister has treated me better too... you're my everything... without you i'm just... nothing... I love you with all my heart... I wish you'd see that babe... I wish you'd see how much of a difference you made in my life... i wish... you'd look at me again...
Charles... you were my everything... you just.. had to take it all away.. and leave me with all this... You were my armor... With you, I was safe from everything... now I'm alone and have nothing to show for myself. The love I had for you will never go away, and it torments me so badly, knowing that you left me the way you found me... I go to bed everynight begging that I just don't wake up anymore. Cause nothing's worth it anymore. I haven't been to school in a full week cause i'm too unstable... Charles I NEED you in my life! it's not a matter of wanting anymore, although I do. I need you. I can't be without you anymore! Without you, I'm just a regret... for everyone.. When you were here, my parents started to think better of me, and my sister has treated me better too... you're my everything... without you i'm just... nothing... I love you with all my heart... I wish you'd see that babe... I wish you'd see how much of a difference you made in my life... i wish... you'd look at me again...
