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for anyone who cares.....


-HeavensxAltar-
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i've been thinking a lot lately....and infact...there has been something that i've noticed....that every waking moment of my damned life has always been stared in the face by that increasingly stupid sibling i've known my whole life...the position in which the life i have yet to obtain is yet again disturbed by the meanings of that irrelevant girl......i damned my whole life for the sake of my caretakers to notice just once of my achievments.....they glanced....and thought nothing of it......that damn meaningless puppet of a sibling has held me down by attaching "its" strands onto me....every moment that passes i feel the need to do something i will surly regret....the feel for the dissapearance of her life runs through the corpse of my body in angery satisfaction for a maybe well acheived goal that has yet to be fullfilled. in the time being....i feel as though my eyes bleed at the sight of her nonsensible foolishness of a face.....the thought of waring a mask my whole life brings me to a more depressed state of well-being...i've loathed her for quite some time now....everytime she steps into a car without me.... i prey that she dies in an accident.......for everytime she sleeps....i prey that she never wakes...for everytime she goes down the staires.....i prey for the child to feel my enraged desire to just strike her down....and have her fall....fall.....and fall....for everytime she becomes ill.....i prey that the sickness becomes worse...and worse.....and i will watch.....watch her suffer the deep consequences of her mindless stupidity that gazes upon reality only to become in such a daze.......i blame her now for my dear brothers mistake in unwanting presense.....i always new there was something wrong....and yet....i was the youngest....he never thought that i would be much....much much more intelligent and considerate then that damned puppet......i loathe her so very much....as god as my witness..... i will proceed one day in her death...i dont care how long....i will kill her....and i will make her pay for what she's done to me.......every little argument i have with her is always just one step closer to a crimson room in her name.....i wunder......how much my parents would care for me.... if my puppet were to suddenly fall before me.....would they turn towards wanting me again? would they listen for once?.....would they put all thier trust, and beseech, in me?
i wonder aimlessly in the darkness i've now proceeded into.....for now....i desire nothing....nothing more but to be far...far away from that manipulative b***h.....i loathe every waking moment of her ******** presense.......i deeply want her dead.....i desire nothing more but to simply hear nothing.....nothing from that lifeless corpse...




 
 
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