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I look upon myself every day

and wonder why im still alive and not in a grave
maybe..i am just dead and i just dont know it

did i die honorabely..or did i die without my feet dragging upon the floor
every part of my life has benn hell..ive worried about others
and i only get left behind or hurt emotoinaly.no one truly cares
does anyone actually care about what they say anymore

i dont think they do anymore..no one cares how much their words are like daggers to heart for some and just pain for others..i wish my face was pale when i look in the mirror and my blood was slowly seeping from my wrists as i stand there and die..watching myself die..i feel as though people care..but they dont understand..sure people have gone through worse then me..but it doesnt make it right to use that as an excuse or a point..people act differently from one another..thats what makes us unique..some are hard as rocks and able to withstand any punishment given to them and laugh it off..others are fragile like flowers and cant easily be hurt physically and mentally..i may be big..i may be strong..and may be tall..but im fragile..my mind is easily broken and hurt..i try to get away from it and find santuary..but where i can i find it..in this hell hole we call a world..people care..but they dont understand how others feel..no one ever does..therapists are meant to be able to make everyone strong and make the fragile better and stronger..but they dont understand and all they worry about is money and careing for their patients..they dont understand how they go through life...no one ever does..people belive the bigger you are and the taller you are..the tougher you are to pain and emotoinal breakdowns..but thats not the case..im fragile..i feel pain..i cry my eyes out more then i punch a wall..i cant even stay mad or enraged for more then a minute without crying..but people just dont understand..no one truly does..they think they do and try to help..but they dont..they just put more stabs into the fragile one's hearts and make them feel like s**t..then the fragiles kill themselves for who they are thinking that their scum..that their worthless in this world..and no one understands..they care and try to help..but they dont understand that their help is just pushing them towards suicide..like everyone is doing to me..they dont understand the stuff i go through daily..they dont understand that even though im a guy, the part of the race thats supposed to be emotoinaly stronger, that im more fragile..that i break down easier..that my stress and my emotoins are pushing me more and more towards suicide...but they care..they just dont understand