Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Ugh, I feel like s**t. I got home today and puked my gut. I feel like my head is going to explode. It was a pretty good day too.

We had to take the stupid band pictures, so I got to eat lunch with Sus. That was nice, getting to be with her. Sarah didn't look too good. Hope you're okay, Sarah.

I got home to find that End of Evangelion came today, so I went to my room and watched that, then fell asleep in the middle of The Matrix. I'm still not feeling well. Physically and mentally. I just feel numb and lost for some reason. I don't understand it and I don't like it. I have no idea what to do with myself right now. No one's on Yahoo. I'm just sitting here listening to my angry music. That usually helps a bit.

I keep getting these paranoid suspicions in my head. I don't know why, because they seem so unfounded, but I'm so scared that they're going to happen. I just feel so scared and I have no idea what I'm scared of.
I'll stop rambling. It isn't important anyway. Wrote a poem. Pretty much reflects how I feel right now. Love you guys.

Disposable
A book with Grandpa's favorite quotes
A poem that your boyfriend wrote
Your little cousin's old toy boat
They're all disposable.

A picture of a long lost friend
A letter you forgot to send
The broken heart you couldn't mend
They're all disposable.

A notebook from your freshman year
With notes from friends you once held dear
A porcelain doll you used to fear
They're all disposable.

The lies I'm burning to confess
The love I'm yearning to caress
The tears I constantly repress
Am I disposable?

The hollow hopes that didn't last
The shining dreams that died so fast
The constant fear of things long past
Am I disposable?

A hopeless cry within the strife
My tears reflected by the knife
The memory of a happy life
Am I disposable?

A cry rings through the black of night
The raven and the crow take flight
A cloud impedes the pure moonlight
We're all disposable.

A bloody pool of hopes and dreams
Overcast eyes and strangled screams
A life that burst out at the seams
We're all disposable.

A body in a crimson gown
A lonely grave outside the town
A small stone angel falling down
I know that I'm disposable...