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This Is My Bordness
Ma Poems, and Songs... and junk....
A Waste.
I have a friend, he is mostly made of pain.
And he wakes up, drives to work,
and then straight back home again.

He once cut one of my nightmares out of paper.
I thought it was beautiful, I put it on a record cover.

And I tried to tell him he had a sense
of color and composition so magnificent.
And he said:

"Thank you, please
but your flattery
is truly not
becoming me.

Your eyes are poor.
You're blind.
You see,
no beauty could have come from me.

I'm a waste
of breath,
of space,
of time."

I knew a Girl, she was dignified and true.
And her love for her Boyfriend was one of her many virtues.

Until one day, she found out that he had lied
and she decided the rest of her life from that point on would be to die.

But she was grateful for everything that had happened.
And she was anxious for all that would come next.

But then she wept.
What did you expect?
In that big, old house
with the photos she kept.
"And such is life," she often said.
With one day leading
to the next,
you get a little closer to your death,
which was fine with her.
She never got upset
and with all the days she may have left,
she would never clean
another mess
or fold his shirts
or look her best.
She was free
to waste
away.....
alone.

Last night, my brother he got drunk and drove.
And this cop he pulled him off to the side of the road.
And he said, "Officer! Officer! You got the wrong man.
No, no, I'm a student of medicine, a son of a banker, you don't understand!"

The cop said, "No one got hurt, you should be thankful.
And your carelessness, it is something awful.

And no, I can't just let you go.
And though your father's name is known,
your decisions now are yours alone.
You are nothing but a stepping stone
on a path
to debt,
to loss,
to shame."

The last few months I have been living along side, this couple.
You know, the kind who buy everything in doubles.
They fit together, like a puzzle.
And I love their love and I am thankful

That someone actually receives the prize that was promised
by all those fairy tales that drugged us.

And they still do me.
I'm sick, lonely,
no laurel tree,
just green envy.
Will my number come up eventually?
Like Love's some kind of lottery,
where you scratch and see
what's underneath.
It's "Sorry",
"Nice Attempt",
or "Play Again."
Get lucky.

So I've been hanging out down by the train's depot.
No, I don't ride.
I just sit and watch the people.
And they remind me of wind up cars in motion.
The way they spin and turn and jockey for positions.

And I want to scream out that it all is nonsense.
All your life's one track,
can't they see it's pointless?

But just then, my knees
give under me.
My head feels weak
and suddenly
it's clear to see
it's not them but me,
who has lost my self-identity.
As I hide behind
these books I read,
while scribbling
my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me,
with some ideal ideology
that no one could hope to achieve.
And I am never real;
it is just a sketch in me.
And everything I made is trite
and cheap
and a waste
of paint,
of tape,
of time.

So now I'm walking down by the cathedral,
where the floodlights always point up at the steeples.
Choir practice was filling up with people.
I hear the sound escaping as an echo.
Sloping off the ceiling at an angle.
When the voices blend they sound like angels.
I hope there’s some room still in the middle.
But when I lift my voice up now to reach them.
The range is too high,
way up in heaven.

So I hold my tongue,
forget the song,
tie my shoes
start walking off.
And try to just keep moving on,
with my broken heart
and my absent God
and I have no faith
but it's all I want,
Is made of love,
and thats not fun,
cause love burns us,
Its all Become.
A Waste.






User Comments: [2] [add]
I Elektrik I
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Fri Jul 03, 2009 @ 10:51pm
To escape this life i called my own, and give it back...
Sold my soul for what was love,
Tied myself to the ones i knew...
Like a tree with and its roots...each one a memory.
Cut down this tree.
Let it fall to the ground...
Show no sympathy.
It is just my time has come, no...I have been waiting.
I can not wait for death, so please...draw quickly...so I may bite the blade and feel the flames...tear me down limb from limb, so you may live a happy life...
Savannah...I love your poem...I wrote this one back to tell you how I feel n.n heart


commentCommented on: Sat Jul 04, 2009 @ 03:43am
*wipes tears*
thats rlly pretty true in every way
the second story reminds me of me and u kno who >.>
ur current LUVA
but i rlly love it sav *hugs*
and yes im calling u sav cuz i dont feel like typing savanna or darling or dear
lolz
luvz ya
and dont die me
*kisses forehead*
^_^



1so_so11rry_ari11
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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