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Dear God,

Have you forgotten about your "daughter" ?
if that's what you even think of me anymore.
I'm growing quite tired of this whole "Life" aspect...
I'm learning and growing, but only in the way's that cause sadness, depression, anxiety, fears, nightmares, phobias, even suicide.

So what have I done since I've been here? caused pain, stress pressure, dissapointment. Why am I still here? do I have a reason of being? or is all hope lost for me. Am I just hopeless... Have I already been condemed to hell in your eyes? I dont understand why I'm still here, give me a sign. Give me a reason to lead, and live by.
I dont want to keep living so I can have a reward... its not a contest. its a constant battle, is victory my prize? because, if so, I'd rather surrender then finish the fight.

Why have you made me, if I'm made in your image.... why am I so impossible, why am I so unfavored, and unwanted... Why am I so depressed, shouldn't I be happy? Is something wrong with me?
Am I just different...? are all suicidal people unloved, and uncared for by you?

Why did you never give me a father, Why did you not let my mother have at least her health...? Do you care that I'm crying? Do you care that my heart is broken? Why can't I seem to change...? I want to change? WHY CANT I CHANGE?.... Why did u birth me? WHY?!
Why am I relavant as a creation, I have brought no goodness, No.
I have brought no peace, or happiness.

Why have you made me like this?
a liar, a stealer, a cheater, I betray, and hurt, and cause suffering, and Never can stop? If I'm made from you image why am I so, Me,
Savannah, you know me, you know what kind of person I am...
So Why God? Why? Why do I feel the need to lie, Why do I feel like suicide is the solution to everything?! THATS NOT NORMAL! people go to insane houses for that... its not normal...I'm not normal...I'm not standard am I?...I figured...

And Jagger... please don't give him the will to love me. That is, if he still does, of ever did for that matter.
He'd be better off with a girl that can care for him, and treat him correctly, and that is confident with herself, so she doesn't have to worry about everything, and she can focus on him... cause I already know I dont deserve him.

Change Me Please?
-Savannah

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