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Gaia, this gonk is for you: gonk
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Supposedly I have the ability to say something wise every now and then, imagine that. I guess there is something to balance the overflow of stupid I seem to ooze.
So, moving on...
Today happened to be a relatively good day. I went to Barnes and Noble with Jen to read, no stress no mess everything just nice and easy. Tomorrow I work from 6-11:30, hopefully I can get off at 11 so I can hopefully do something with my friends afterwards. It would be nice, but I'm not banking anything on it right now.
I'm still feeling so hopelessly confused. I'm confusing this affectionate feeling with the need to be with someone. (If that at all makes sense...) I want so desperately to have someone I can focus my attention on that I just pick the first person that actually pays attention to me. I'm confusing "like" with the simple act of conversation between a man and woman. But yet...I'm still attached. I hate it, I want to break it, but I can't. I just want someone and I had to pick someone that is definately not right for me... I want this feeling, but I'm 100% aware of the fact that this person does not share the same feelings as I do. In fact, I just like the fact that I'm "in like", if anything were to happen, I'd feel horribly out of place and uncomfortable.
See the confusion.
I guess "ignorance is bliss" applies tonight.
Y'see, Tina is not a complete fool afterall.
Maybe I need Jen to smack it out of me once more. I became incredibly giddy while talking about it and begged her to slap me. Oh how I wish I could be slapped right now. How can something so wrong make me feel like everything is going to be alright?
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Community Member
Get that out of the way, and stop looking for validation. You think you're looking for love? Bullshit. You're looking for someone to validate you as a person, or to validate your feelings as they are now. Either way, you're basing your entire self image on what others are saying to you.
Relax. You're good. You're bad. You're an evil saint. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Just enjoy yourself.
.... *hug*