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ok update from my last entry
ok yes i did have a breakdown stare and amanda helped me and i got my feelings out and i got off the computer and almost immediately ik how i felt... i dont like mitch... well i mean like like mitch. hes nice and all.... but i would give it another chance if he asked again... which won't be anytime soon... im sure he doesnt like me... and probably wont ever again.. but idk.... i always want 2 k want 2 k what he's thinking,.... as amanda so kindly pointed out razz i need 2 stop worrying about what he thinks and i need 2 figure out what i want. he broke up w me... its not a joke... i need 2 realize tht... well i dont like like mitch even tho hes cute... my heart melts when i c his face but it doesnt mean i like him... there will b more cute guys. ik there will b he cant b the only one and ik somewhere out there theres one thts cuter and would put more effort into our relationship.... and would never let me run out of things 2 talk about..... and would like me 4 who i am 4ever... and thts the guy im going 2 marry... and marriage is awhile from now. so i have room 4 mistakes... im not sayin mitch was a mistake but he definately wasnt anything serious... fun at the moment i guess. so what i want: is to be friends with him again without any awkwardness without any hesitation or thinking hes cute... or anything like tht.... and what i need: is to keep beating myself up everytime i think differently... now thts all real life... but my fantasy: is tht we'd go out again and he'd realize he was stupid... but its real life and everything cant b like the notebook... so 4get this... lol.
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