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The tears,
they are there but will not come,
my heart is hurting, and it isnt just my head,
when did things become this,
the pain was bad as is,
but this i couldn't see,
some things are strangling me,
in fact its hurts to breath,
i cough and i don't know why,
i am flushed but not by fever,
i am sick but not ill in the least,
and my eyes are hurting to stay closed,
warm and burning they are,
wanting to be cooled by my tears,
my heart aching dully and things confusing more than ever,
i put all i had,
all i could be into this,
i have suffered defeat at ever turn,
i pushed harder than i ever knew i could,
but still it seems i have gained nothing,
I am afraid.....
I am growing darker in my thoughts....
My actions seemed aggressive,
and i fear myself these days...
Am I really going to fail after so much effort,
is this really going to drop form my hands,
even though things should have gone right.,..
it doenst make sense...
its like i moved the pawn two ahead like usual...
and suddenly I find i am playing checkers without any knowing how...

I am lost.....

And the island just vanished under my feet,
The sea will soon engulf me...