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I just want someone to hold me. When everything is frightening and I am not brave and I want to give up - I need someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright ... Someone to tell me that he believes in me and that I am precious to him ...

I cried so many times tonight. I am so worried about money and job stuff, and I am afraid I could end up suicidal again if I have to work in an office filing papers again. I don't want to die ... either in an office, a soul-death, or in a more literal sense, bodily death from self-harm. I really would rather live - just not like this ...