Well, I moved to the city -in which I currently reside- just over a year ago. I moved here to have a chance at attending University. I'm taking extra high school and adult education courses, as an addition to my repertoire. I haven't made many friends, and I don't feel compelled to make any. However, I did get into a relationship, and now it has been a year, and we are engaged. All of my family lives here with me, which makes my life easier -even though I have moved out with my fiance, they are still willing to help me. Sounds great, right? It would be, until you add these next factors into the mix...
During school, I'm not learning anything in class. Instead, we are given copious amounts of homework -basically consuming all of the time I could be using to earn pay, or to enjoy some solitude. The fact that I spend (on average) six hours in school a day to do all of the work at home is bad enough, however I have numerous financial pressures to handle any time that I'm out of school. Also, while I dream of attending University, I don't know what to attend University for anymore. All I know is that a University education could benefit me, should I ever seek a career.
While I haven't made any friends, I have several in my home town. I would be lucky to see them once every three months! Just talk to them online, right? Wrong. Even though some of them have computers, it is nearly impossible to catch any of them online -not to mention that conversations on the internet are dry and insipid.
My fiance and I aren't having many problems, other than finance. The relationship is improving, and he is intellectually stimulating enough to keep me sane, especially when I have no one else to talk to. The only real problem with him is that he allows several of his friends to spend many nights a week over at our one bedroom apartment -in spite of my objections. It isn't that I don't like them, it is more or less that whenever they visit, the apartment becomes trashed, and very few of them bother to help us clean up the mess. Don't you just love D&D campaigns?
I love my family to death. So why did I move out? Well, living with my mother was difficult, because she is bipolar. I have sympathy for her condition, however when our entire relationship evolves into countless arguements, I know that the living situation is no longer healthy for either party.
Wait, there's more...
I'm beginning to miss everything about my home town. Because it is a bedroom community for those who work in the city, the rents are increasingly expensive. Therefore, it would be a pain to move back there, as much as I want to -though I would have to wait until my lease expires next year.
If I move home, I'm close to all of my friends, I could start working as a tattoo apprentice beneath a good friend, and I could live a relatively enjoyable life. However, if I do move back there, I have no garauntee of a stable income (which will make living as difficult as it is here), I will have limited opprotunity to expand my education (unless I want to go to community college, to work as a trades-person), I will be far away from all of my family, and my fiance might want to leave me. Why? My fiance wants to attend University too, he wants to be a teacher. I know that anyone with half an intellect would not jeopardize their chance for success, especially if it were to move somewhere where there would be no future.
While I know that the situation that I am in, and have chosen, may be the most beneficial for me in the long run, it may be more emotionally damaging than I thought.
Any thoughts, my fellow gaians?
Edea Re-l Community Member 
|
|
