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Tower's End

To the ends of time, the tower stands a lone sentinel watching over us. Nothing can change it and nothing can make it stay the same. It waits forever poised between Order and Chaos, Light and Dark, and I am it's guardian.

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I seem to be messing everything up lately. No matter what I do I just spread this dank disease of despair around. Heh.....I wish there was some way to multiply me by a negative one. Then maybe I'd be useful...I doubt it. I'm sure someway somehow I'd still screw up. I don't want to hurt anyone so I hide away, thinking that if I don't see them I won't crack and bother them. Because they don't need someone raining down on them and bringing sorrow, and I'm too used to being alone. The urge to hide my feelings has been installed in me ever since I was a kid. So that's what I do. Even when the walls are falling I'm desperately trying to build them up again. Don't expect conversations about how I feel to come easily. I'm sorry I've hurt you. I don't want to...ever. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you. Maybe not. Maybe the risk will always be too great. Because it has the potential to hurt you and me and everyone I hold dear. And I couldn't stand knowing I caused that pain. Please understand. Don't feel bad or guilty. There is nothing you or anyone else did. Nothing. I love you. Don't forget that okay?

Posted by: Tara_Nepion Tue Nov 23, 2004 @ 09:16pm

User Comments: [3]

Nikiana
Community Member

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Wed Nov 24, 2004 @ 04:53am

*blinks and pats Tara-chan on the head* It's okay, I'm starting to get used to people holding in feelings. I do it to a point, but my family's always been the type to want to know what's going on... guess it's rubbed off on me.

*sighs* I miss my alone time. At this moment, sitting at home with everyone going to bed, it's the first time I've been alone and unable to hear anyone since school started... even in the dorms, you can hear someone, somewhere... This break is just what I need... though I'm home for a few hours and my sister gives me a bloody nose... >.< We all just need a break.

Lynne Kast
Community Member

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Wed Nov 24, 2004 @ 06:40pm

*sighs* If you say so sis. But, please know that regardless of if you upset me, I still love you. You're my big sister--I'll always love you unconditionally. ALWAYS.

Just because you hide, that doesn't mean that we don't see you...

Just so you know, this isn't a message of "okay, you win." I swear to the gods the first thing that you and I will talk about when I get back will be about that up there. And with me prying into your life, you can pry into mine. Deal? *pleading look*

Nay-rinn
Community Member

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Fri Nov 26, 2004 @ 11:33pm

*huggles Tara* Poor Tara... and once again I almost said Tolara...

I understand every word. I feel like that a lot... if you ever want to talk, feel free to drop me a PM or an email.

User Comments: [3]

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