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I'm messed up. I'm so messed up it's not even funny. I mean s**t happens all the time right? But this time I got ******** MAD over not having said no when I really, REALLY wanted to. It's just that sometimes I can't. It's like being under a spell. So my boyfriend called me this Saturday when I was right in the middle of cleaning. I mean cleaning - you get all dirty and sweaty yourself... So I always treat myself to a loooong shower after I'm done. Which means that there really is no point whatsoever in washing my hair before I start cleaning, right?

So I'm right in the middle of cleaning when my boyfriend calls me and just says: "Hey, we're having cake over at my mom's in thirty minutes, hurry up would you?", after just running around all day long. I got so pissed and just hung up. Then I threw some make-up on, brushed through my hair and... I mean I looked like one big mess! With dirty hair and smeeling of sweat (at least it felt like I did). And then he gets all "What are you yelling at me for?" when we got back! I was furious! But thinking about it all day today I realized that his taking me for granted and not really giving a ******** is most likely due to the fact that I really never DO say no. He's used to getting his way no matter what because I just never made him realize that I'm not his pet. So I guess I know what I gotta do.