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Of Cages & Flight

As I am job searching today, the thought came to me and won't leave me alone - I'm only searching for another cage. I think even a graphic design job would be a cage to me. There is something in my heart ... that rejects even that more artistic option ... I wish I could run away from everything and live in a little village by the sea in Asia or something ... Fish or farm for a living ...

I just feel, in some deep way, that there is something I'm supposed to be doing and that I'm not doing it. I don't know what it is ... But, when I think of sitting in some little cubicle for the rest of my life, I feel like it would kill me ... It makes me feel like a caged bird ...

Sometimes, too - thinking about finding a mate feels like looking for a cage as well. I think that the wrong person could feel like a cage instead of freedom. I guess that kind of came out in my description of the emotions of my roleplay character Anja in regards to her suitors from the 1800s - a deep sense of knowing that those men were not a match for her, and that they would only be a cage to her.

I want someone who will fly with me in freedom - an equal and a partner - someone to experience life with.

I just wanted to take a moment to write about my feelings before returning to my job search. Hope I got these emotions out of my system for now. Back to looking for another cage, I guess. Maybe this one will be a bit more comfortable than the last. Is there such a thing as a job that I could do that uses my passion and talents and isn't a cage?