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(Read my entry before this too x3)
Remember when I wrote that story at school and showed it to you Ed...?
Heres the good one. xD

Hate Me

Years and years had past. The young blond alchemist was celebrating his twentieth birthday. His brother, Al, was back in his original body, but they had been trapped on the other side of the gate. He sighed and stared out the window at the empty English street. The moon was high in the sky and it’s light was reflected onto his face by the silver pocket-watch he held in his hands.

His eyes were narrowed in sadness; his face appeared to be twitching as he tired to hold back tears. He could not stop thinking of her blond hair and soft features. He had only kissed her once, in all those years that he had loved her, he had only gotten one chance to show her. In the confines of the deepest corners of his mind he could feel her lips on his, but he had to block that thought from his conscious mind. Lest something break inside him.

He glanced around the room at the flower petals that were littered across the floor. He had gotten them for the young woman down the street that bore a scary resemblance to the girl he had fallen in love with. In an earlier fit, he had pulled all the petals from the flowers and scattered them about his floor to remind him that this girl was not the one he had really loved. They had given his loneliness a form; a solid existence that proved he wasn’t going insane.

The sight of the white roses turned his imagination on. The imaginary pictures and memories brought a gloomy smile to his face. Could this be the reality of his relationship had he stayed in Shambala? The warmth of her on him, his body moving in a rhythm with hers. He would like to think so, but at the same time he was ashamed to think of her in such a way.

He buried his face in his hands. His pride wounded for good. Tears began to fall, what was the point of holding them back when you had no pride left to damage. He had failed to really return his brother to his original body. Would his little brother survive another trip though the gate if he could find a way to open it? His soul had been transfered so many times it might be to weak and he could be lost entirely.

Even if he could open the gate would that make Winry happy? She might have found someone else and started a family. If he were to return to Shambala he might cause her pain, and all he wanted was for her to be happy, not matter how much it destroyed him inside to be away from her.

On the backs of his closed eyelids he returned to another place ant time. He was sitting on a lonely train looking out at Winry on the platform. She whispered that she loved him in order to keep him from getting killed. Why did she have to do that? I always just made him feel guilty after it all, he really wished she would just sit back in the safety of Resembool. All he wanted was the freedom to return his brother to normal.

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head

They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed

Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone

Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home

There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain

An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?

And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?

And will you never try to reach me?

It is I that wanted space

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

His dreams transported him even further back into the past to the first day when he left for the military. The charred skeleton of his old home still smoking in the distance he walked out in the cool morning. Winry stood on the blacony in her pajamas sleepily she waved to him. He returned the courtesy waving back to her. He didn’t look back as he walked from the Rockbell home to the train station.

In Edward’s mind the figure of himself steadily grew smaller in the distance until he disappeared into the future some. He was kneeling in an alley way watching in horror as Winry lifted a gun and pointed it at scar.

“No Winry” he shouted, but she didn’t lower the weapon. Tears streaming down her face. It was then that he first realized how much she meant to him and how much his heart yearned to protect her. He threw himself at Scar’s feet, risking his own life to make sure Winry wouldn’t do something he knew she would regret. It had all be fun and games until this moment in time, when the weight of the world seemed to crash down on his shoulders. He took Winry into his arms as Scar slipped away. Had he realized what it meant to be a man? Had he found the last piece of the puzzle?

He lifted a hand to her face as she lowered the gun,

“Please don’t do that Winry,” he pleaded. She looked up at him tears streaming down her cheeks.

“He killed Mom and Dad” she sobbed. Edward nodded and held her tight.

“I have to go help Al”

“I know” she whispered, as she let go of his jacket. He placed it around her shoulders and ran of in the other direction. Her eyes had been on his back as he left.

“Why do I always get in the way” she whispered to the wind.

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave

Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made

And like a baby boy I never was a man

Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand

And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”

Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be

And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

He opened his eye to find himself back in the dim confines of his London apartment. His heart was weighed down by all the guilt from never doing what was best for her. She had always supported him, followed him and she hadn’t ever questioned him. She wanted to see the brother’s return to their original bodies just as much as he did. But she also wanted them to stay safe, and that was something he had never managed to do for her.

He sat up and ripped his pony tail out tossing the piece of twine at the wall with all his strength.

“Hate Me” he screamed at the top of his lungs. “because I never listened to you!” He began to cry out loud, but it would be the last night that tears would ever wet his face. He could no longer cry, because she was better off with out him. Or so he thought.

Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow

Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways

Yeah ways hard to swallow

Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

For you

For you

For you

PeachTwilight