Have you ever had the feeling no matter what it is you do you just cant seem to get ahead, no matter how hard you try to
Welcome to my life. It wasnt always like this though, believe it or not there was a time when life
good, but that was along time ago. I am 21 now. I am going to go back after all those years, see what we can pull up. I was born in New Orleans, Louisiana on Feburary 22, 1988.
well thats at least what my Birth Certificate says. My mother was the only one posted on my
papers. I guess my dad really didnt want much to do with us. People say that the first memories
are always bad ones. I dont quite believe that. I remember tons of good things before the bad
ones. But sure enough there are tons of bad ones to fallow. It started when i was around 5 years old.We moved to New York Before i could remember. Me and my older brother Micheal where more then brothers, we where friends. We would sit doewn and watch Power Rangers all the time.
"Im the Red Ranger", Micheal would say before we could start playing. He knew i wanted to be the Red Ranger but it was alright for me. It was good to see him happy.
"Alright then who am I, because i wanna be the Black Ranger", I would say in response. "Well you Cant because your the Blue Ranger",He was to argue with me. Sad thing is now that i look back at it, I start to see a patern that would manifest all threw my life.
Around this time my mom and dad where splitting up. I remember hearing them yell all the time. At one point and time i was out side playing in the yard and i saw my mom case my dad out, throwing glasses, mugs, just every thing she could get her hands on. When she saw that my dad would leave she grabs a base ball bat and started to case him out to the parking lot. What on earth can i 5 years old do when he sees something like that besides cry? After that i cant remember him coming around for along time, well felt like a long time. That Chirstmas my mom said she was going to take us to go see our dad. me and my brothers where so happy. We havent heard from him in along time, all we wanted was to see him and have him to our selves. Of cource that wasnt that case. Ronnie, Micheal, and myself, walked into the hotel room and saw my dad. He wasnt alone, not by any means. There was this woman in there named Gina, holding a baby, and another little child sitting by "My Dad".
"Who are these people daddy?", I could help but ask. I never saw these people my whole life. "These are your two littlw brothers Dylan and Daniel, and this is your new step-mom Gina." he told us, as if it was nothing. Dylan was 3 alomst 4 and Daniel was only 2. That CHristmas i could never forget.Despite how every one looked at it. To me it was the best Chirstmas ever. While most kids got toys, i got two little brothers. Although after that, after that day, I really never seen my dad that much. If we where lucky we would see him once every 3 years after that. Maybe get a phone call every month. Well any ways. So here we are in New York State, my mom all alone with 3 boys. She couldnt do it by her self. I remember i didnt helo much either after my dad left. I would sneek out of bed and go sleep in my moms bed at night. One night i went to go sleep in my moms romm and she wasnt there " MOM, MOM, MOMMY, WHERE ARE YOU. WHERES MY MOMMY!!", I screamed out as i ran down stares crying. i ran out side looking for you just screaming "MOMMY WHERE ARE YOU!!"
I sat out in the middle of the projects square just sitting down crying. I didnt know what to do. all of a sudden i hear my mom " Shawn? What are you doing out here? why are you not in bed?", I turned around and there was my mom standing there. I ran to her and held on tight. i dont know what i would have done with out her. Well that night things didnt get better infact they got alot worse. the cops where called on my mom. she explained to them she was at the pay phone making a call when she thought we where all in bed. They where nice and let her go with a warning. But Not the same 2 weeks later. I remember this one like it was yesterday. My brothers and me woke up and did what we do every mornign turn on carttons and have cereal. around 10 o'clock in the morning, there was a knock on the door. I was about to turn 6 at this time. I answerd the door and there stood a police officer.
"Is your mother home?', he looked out and asked me. I ran up stares to go wake her up. she told me to stay up there that she didnt want me down there to see what was going to happen, but i did any ways. I walked to the end of the up stairs stare case and just sat at the top stop. next thing i know, the cops slammed my mom against the wall and slapped handcuffs on her. all i could do yet again was to cry.
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