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I miss him so bloody much. v_v
I wish he would come back to me.
It's really hard seeing him day after day, but not holding that precious bond any longer; for if it's still there, it's presence is flailing.
We always had so much fun. Laughing, smiling, singing, dancing, just being genuinely stupid.
Being with him made me feel like I was actually living my life, the way I wanted to.
In a way, he was my security.
While with him, I could do things I'd never do with anyone else, because of that security.
Now, I feel so alone in life.
I thought he knew me more than anyone else, but I'm not so sure anymore.
If he did, it doesn't seem asthough he'd be doing this.
I feel like there is something more going on that I'm unaware of.
He's ripping my being to shreds.
I'm really at quite a loss without his attention.
I feel like a big part of me has just died. Even when he does come back, I don't know asthough it will ever be okay.
I just know that I miss him.
Part of me wants to give up because he just isn't worth it anymore; But then again, I feel like he is worth it.
I don't know what to do and he is the only person who can help me decide.
Right now, he doesn't seem to want to.
He tells me that we're still best friends, but how can he say that and still do this to me?
I just want for him to be open with me.
I still don't understand what I did wrong.
I tell him I do, and when I tell him that, I mean it...but then, he makes me question myself again.
He needs to either crush me right now or stop toying with me.
This hurts more than it would if he were taken away.
At least then, it'd be because he had no choice; but this way, it is his choice.
It just really burns a hole through you when your best-friend doesn't seem to want you.
I wonder if he even cares.

---

That's it, I've had it. I'm propping up the wall and it isn't coming down until he gives me reason to believe he's changed. The only way I'm ever going to feel better is by shunning him, honestly.
So, I'm going to do just that. No more talking to him, no more looking at him, none of it. I'm going to treat him the way he's treating me, only without acting like an a**.
If he says something to me, I'll say something back. If conversation is provoked, I'll talk. Other than that, screw it. I guess I'll just continue to have faith that he'll come crawling back.

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