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It's like standing outside a window.
The wind blows sharp and cold at my back,
biting at my ears and fingers already numb.
I look inside to see a life without me,
perfect and peaceful.
How much I wish to be in there,
with my friends,
with my family.
People who love me,
possibly people who care.
They look through me
as if I weren't there.
Biting back sobs, I whimper with pain.
Blinking back tears, I begin to fall.
I fall for ever and always,
I fall into the blackness that awaits.
Waiting to swallow the pain that comes with,
Waiting to devour my soul.
I'd rather feel the pain,
Because the nothingness is unbearable.
The empty hole where my heart is supposed to be
Aches with every beat it should.
Tears begin to fall.
They fall with me,
Into my blackness,
Into my hell.
I tell myself it's just a dream,
It'll be over soon.
As I wake, everything will be fine.
Unfortunetly, I lie.
Not a dream,
Nor will I ever wake.
It hurts to be this alone,
When I know it's my fault.

I'm sorry.