a friend of mine came into my room tonight. she was acting all cool and everything, she started digging around in my stuff.
she found one of my most personal tshirts, one that I had worn during my life changing trek to find answers. she put it on. and when she left she said she wasnt giving it back.
I demanded it back, but she talked her way out.
if you are reading my journal tonight, I want you to know how important that shirt is to me.
summer 2009, I went miles from home on a whim, I was hoping that i could find light outside of my own shell. I went to a family that had planned for years to steal me, so that I could find "answers". I risked my life every single day, so that I could find that person who could magically wipe the sick bullshit out of my life.
I was used, I was put to work, I had no Idea WTF I was turning into. I met my b*****d father, and was forced to acknowlege him. I listened to all of his lies. i was used in the house of God, wearing that shirt.
I bent down to a jar of dirt, and cried. my grandfather had been cremated while I was away.
out there in New Mexico, I found nothing, and I was used.
but every drop of sweat, every tear from my broken spirit had been soaked into that shirt.
I may never find what i am looking for, I may be a virgin my whole life.
but I will never let you do what you did to me again. like tonight
even for a Tshirt.
I want it back.
besides that, I hate how I can never have any friends with no p***s.
every one of them are too damn good looking for there own good.
I caant have them in my house. I cant go to a party. I cant go outside of my own house without being stared down by one.
the best i can do is being on gaia, girls dont bother me at all online as long as i cant see them behind the screen.
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