Chapter 1
A man squat on a thick tombstone, speaking to his acquaintance that was digging up a grave. “I’m just sayin’, condiments are the best thing since sliced meat!” said the man on the tombstone before sucking on his cancer-stick. The man who was digging sighed and said, “I dunno, Stash. I don’t really like condiments; I think they spoil the flavor is all.” Both men, Stash and Hub, spoke with thick red-neck accents. The man on the tombstone, Stash, had greasy shoulder-length black hair. He wore an old, off-white wifebeater undershirt and dark-gray jeans with light-brown boots over them. He wore a Nekromantix belt buckle and a black ball-cap with a white skull on it that usually hid his eyes. He was tall and very skinny. His friend, Hub, who was digging up the grave, was hunched over and had long, thick sideburns and short hair. He wore dark cover-alls over a light plaid shirt, which had a sewn-in patch over the hunch in his back. He was short and obese. Neither of them were particularly attractive, and they were both one of the darkest cannibal creatures of the night. Ghouls. The voice of a young girl sounded from a tree limb above Stash. It spoke with no accent, clearly and cleanly. “Well, it depends on what you’re using condiments on.” Said the young girl, who was about the age of 12. Her blonde hair was pulled up into dog-ears, and she wore a plain gothic Lolita dress with a clean, white apron on over it. On her face she wore a medical eye-patch over her left eye, and the iris of her visible eye shone crimson. “Duh,” Replied Stash, looking up at her like she was the dumbest creature on the planet, successfully making Alyssa feel like an idiot for speaking. She blushed and looked up at the large, yellow crescent moon. They remained in silence for hours. The only noise was that of hooting owls and Hub’s shovel digging into the soft dirt, until the familiar sound of the shovel hitting wood resounded through the forested graveyard. Suddenly, Stash leaped off of the tombstone and knelt beside the chasm of six feet. Stash hunched over the hole, like a hyena ready to kill, as Hub opened the lid of the coffin, drooling heavily. Stash cackled maniacally and tossed a large burlap bag into the hole. Alyssa’s stomach churned. Stash and Hub were good company and all, but they were absolutely disgusting when it came down to rotting human flesh. Hub stuffed the corpse into the sack and threw it to the top. Alyssa hopped out of the tree and assisted Hub as he clambered out of the hole. He hurriedly refilled the grave and they started home.
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