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Amber:
*points accusingly*
There! Right There!
Look at that tan, that tinted skin.
Look at the killer shape he's in.
Look at that slightly stubbly chin.
Oh Please he's gay, totally gay.

Kalkora:
*thinks for a moment*
I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate the totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.

All:
*whisper while going about their business around him*
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
that a man who wears perfume
is automatically radically fey?

Mimosa:
*rolls his eyes*
But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.

Amber:
*winces*
Look at his silk translucent socks.

Kalkora:
*nods*
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.

Amber:
*looks at him increduously*
What are we seeing?

Kalkora:
*throws his hands out*
Is he gay?

Amber:
*rolls her eyes*
Of course he's gay.

Kalkora:
*points at him and smirks*
Or European?

All:
*pause and look at him*
ohhhhhh.
*look at each other*
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?

Yusuke:
*throws his hands up defensively*
Well, hey don't look at me.

Crystal:
*tilts her head*
You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.

All:
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like "ciao bella"
while they kiss you on both cheeks.

Amber:
*facepalms*
Oh please.

All:
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

Yusuke:
*butts in*
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way.

All:
Is he gay or European?
or

Crystal:
*points triumphantly*
There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy's not gay, I say no way.

All:
*stare at him*
That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume

Amber:
*crosses her arms*
Is automatically-radically

Kalkora:
*grimaces*
Ironically chronically

Crystal:
*rubs her temples*
Certainly pertin'tly

Yusuke:
*raises his eyebrows*
Genetically medically

All:
GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY!
OFFICIALLY GAY GAY GAY GAY
*see him kiss some girl*
DAMNIT!

Gay or European?

Kalkora:
*sighs*
So stylish and relaxed.

All:
Is he gay or European?

*he takes off his shirt*

Kalkora:
*covers his mouth in disgust*
I think his chest is waxed.

Crystal:
*still trying to stick up for him*
But they bring their boys up different there.
It's culturally diverse.
It's not a fashion curse.

All:
*look at him sarcastically*
If he wears a kilt or bears a purse.
Gay or just exotic?
I still can't crack the code.

Amber:
*sighs dreamily*
Yet his accent is hypnotic
*then drops her jaw*
but his shoes are pointy toed.

All:
Huh.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray.

Angie:
*suddenly (and rudely) pops up*
But if he turns out straight I'm free at eight on Saturday.

All:
Is he gay or European?
gay or european?
Gay or Euro-

Mimosa:
*smirks*
Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.

Kalkora:
*guestures to him*
The floor is yours.

Mimosa:
*walks over to him*
So Mr. Minamino...
This alleged affair with Ms. Pilfard has been going on for...?

Kurama:
*says calmly*
2 years.

Mimosa:
*rubs his own (NOT KURAMAS!!) chin*
And your first name again is...?

Kurama:
*looks at his nails*
Shuichi.

Mimosa:
*bites his lip*
And your boyfriend's name is...?

Kurama:
*says absentmindedly*
Miles.

All:
*gasp*

Kurama:
*face goes like this: O.O*
I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend.
I thought you say best friend. Miles is my best friend.

Miles:
*appears*
You jerk!
You lying jerk!
That's it.
I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples.
I have a big announcement.
This man is Gay and European!
*claps his hand on kurama's shoulder*
you've got to stop your being
a completely closet case.
No matter what he say.
I swear he never ever ever swing the other way.
*pokes him in the forehead*
You are so gay.
You big parfait!
You flaming boy band cabaret.

Kurama:
*protests*
I'm straight!

Miles:
*smirks and says under his breath*
You were not yesterday.
*announces*
So if I may, I'm proud to say,
He's gay!

All:
And European!

Miles:
He's gay!

All:
And European!

Miles:
He's gay!

All:
And European and Gay!

Kurama:
*facepalms*
Fine okay I'm gay!

All:
Hooray!

Kurama & Miles:
Fine. Okay. We're gay!