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	It's Me!! This is just a random space for all my randomness!


Sigh. I haven't been as active as I once was and I feel really bad about it. So let me start by saying I will try to make more of an effort so my fish don't starve mrgreen Here's the thing my mom has been out of work for a couple of months now. We are doing ok and she has another job lined up that starts in February. The problem is my mom herself. The woman is bipolar and has separation anxiety. My sister J could care less and actually goes out of her way to upset my mom (whatever that is their own issue that I don't want to go into right now). Of course me being the sucker that I am I try to smooth everything over so that my mom doesn't drive the whole family insane. Unfortunately doing this has brought enormous stress on me. My blood pressure is through the roof. Her anxiety is so bad that I can't even go to my room without her asking me 20 questions about when I'm going to be back. I love my mom otherwise I would not put up with her but lately I've been so tired of her that I don't even try to spare her feeling anymore. If she makes me mad I let her know it by making snide remarks, yes I know very passive aggressive of me. But I really don't know what to do. I don't want to say anything straight forward because she has been diagnosed with depression and she had some issues with that years back. To make matters worse me and her were both in a car accident about 2 weeks ago. We are fine and I am very glad for that. Even the car came out with only some rear damage. But she was very dramatic about it all. She made it more of a big deal then what it was and now she is determined to go to court because the people who were involved in the accident took off. She wanted me to file too but personally I think that's just asking for bad karma. Anyway since the accident my mother has been more paranoid then normal. I thought I came out of it ok. I mean I wasn't bleeding and there were no broken bones so I was very relieved. I even went into the car afterward and I didn't suffer any panic attacks. Well that changed this morning. We went to turn the car in to get fixed and there was so much traffic. I don't know why that bothered me. But the traffic added with my mom's road rage; I was desperately fighting down a panic attack. I was feeling lightheaded and my chest felt tight. It really freaked me out. I'm going to have to find someway to relax. My mom needs to go back to work because I don't know how much longer I can put up with her. And also I've been neglecting my computer for two other reasons. One I've been getting lousy reception and it gets irritating when my connection goes bye bye in the middle of a load. And reason two is I've been stuck on playing Fallout 3 and Bioshock. I finally have all the downloads for FO3 and as for Bioshock I'm borrowing it from my cousin so I don't know how long I have it. And I'm a big achievement addict so I need to spend my time wisely. Sahu · Tue Jan 26, 2010 @ 05:14am · 1 Comments


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GrannyD
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Wed Jan 27, 2010 @ 06:58pm

First off, come over here and let me give you a hug.....
***Big--BIG--Granny-Hug***

Now. Go to the bathroom and have a time-out. Sit there...and take a big breath. Close your eyes, and take another breath, and listen to the sound you make. Listen for the sound of wind, or the sea... you can calm yourself if you know how.

Now open your eyes, and get a grip.
It is so difficult to be in the leaky raft with others, when it feels like you are the only one bailing.

It is difficult to recognize the phases of grieving that happen from being unemployed - especially when one has mental challenges.
There are waves of the same grief that affect loves ones...

You are doing such a good job of describing the conditions in first person, and I understand completely, since you used the details.
I am really proud of you, Sweetie.

The phases of grief are worth the google.
You will learn that there are many reasons we grieve. Loss of...?
You will see that denial, anger, distraction (car wrecks), infantile behavior, and all sorts of intertwined emotions and behaviors happen.

If you can see the red flags, you can enable your mom to get back on her feet by telling her that you understand the feelings she is having - since she is grieving - and one of 20% of unemployed in our country (not alone). You and everyone else is grieving too - part of it is putting one's head in the sand until it blows over, or someone pulls one out.

Don't give up the ship = "Mom. I don't tell you enough how much I care about you." (Say two nice things - even if it is her laugh that you miss.)
"Mom. I need your help"
"I'd like you to tell you these facts about grief."
(Point out the distraction part = car wreck, find something a bit funny about it, or something good that happened.)
"Help me understand how you feel."

Your work is to get her to work at work, like "Mom, let's go out on Tuesday, and do some networking at places you've always wanted to work." or something fun like that. Try going with her to a place that other unemployeds meet for a latte' and free wifi. I got my hubby into an unemployed group at the library, and he doesn't feel so abandoned now.

Maybe we should make a guild for the caregivers of the unemployed?

I LOVE GAIA. You can't make me.

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