sweatdrop when askd again just y i am a 'verry badd kitty', i will know that it really iz more a reflection on how i treat myself. i taunt and teaze and prod and push. not n the sensual or sexual way. and not n a way that would make me happy overall. here i had the most wonderful reunion earlier and i guess i let the euphoria from that make me just be taunting and bold. took a totally golden experience and painted it w/bittersweet chocolate......dark. *sigh. worst yet; az if there haz not been changez. like it waz n the begininz. and thatz sad. cuz...... i'm not sure itz this way becauze I'M the one that CHANGED. i think it haz more to do w/feelinz that changed for or about me. and maybe thatz just how i pick them? so frustrating. and oddly sadd. and i don't want pity or for NEone to really feel baddly for me. cuz i know how pitiful i am. *sigh. when will i stop putn myself thru such pain/torture? y do i have to find out just how far i can b pushed? how strong i am? especially when ultimately no one carez but me? when itz said that i'm crazy itz not becauze of a 'traditional' sense. itz becauze i put myself thru such..... ridiculouz and pointless abuse. thingz i would find character building and growin n otherz, but totally lame for myself cuz i should have nothin to prove to myself after all this time. so the question iz: VenusKatrice, when u gonna give urself a break, huhn? enough iz enough. u have to f'in LET GO! just spare urself, cuz u r bound to really get urself hurt.
but on the ultimate plus side of it all;
i got to spend variouz hourz w/my sugarlovinpie~
and thatz a friendship that i've come to realize
i waz hysterically upset that i would lose.
so, kudoz for me, right?
*gigglez*
silver lining kitty. alwayz the silver lining 3nodding heart
