So all yesterday I did some thinking.
I went over to Tony's after I got off work and then proceeded to get super stone and have a mental breakdown, listing off all the things I don't like about myself and want to change.
I also proceeded to go off about how good of a person he is and how he deserves a better woman, he asked how and then I told him.
I'm not a good person and I honestly wonder how the few people that are still around managed to stay there.
I won't take all of the blame but I know I should claim most of it.
I don't know where this road is taking me but I don't like where it's going now.
If you are going to leave any comments don't leave anything like "if you don't like it change it." That's only stating the obvious and at this point in time will only irritate me.
I need some insight.
I've opened my mind and once I took out all the worms I've found....a sad, scared, and lonely little girl.
"I don't like the fact that I believe I'm one of those people who will never find the person I'm supposed to be with. I think in some tragic way I'm going to be alone because something has happened and that person can't get to me, or maybe they're dead. I just might be a succubus. Having sex with all these men, trying to fill some disgusting hole in my heart, hoping one of them will fall in love with me."
She stops for a moment fighting back the irritated tears that one can only have after an actual epiphany.
"C'mon babes."
He turned off the light and curled up around her.
Her heart fluttered as she felt his warm embrace.
"I really do believe I love you though."
He sat quiet for a few minutes, she waited for a response...anything.
"Why do you think that?" He sounded happy but confused. A genuine noise.
She thought for a bit, really searching her brain.
"My heart is beating so very quickly, and it's only because I think I might've made you happy."
He curled up around her tighter. She smiled and burried her face in his chest.
"That and you make my skin tingle a bit when you touch me." She meant it in a nonsexual fashion of course.
Anything past that I don't really remember.
It's time to find out who I really am.
Who I'm supposed to be.
 Oni Wanpaku · Sat Mar 27, 2010 @ 05:52pm · 2 Comments |
