Chapter 2
My butler Higgins came into the master dining room with his eyes as wide as a bagel. He was panting like a dog. His black cotton suit was tattered and covered with blood stains. I immediately rush for one of my rings. But before I could reach my ailing butler, he collapsed.
"M-mega, s-s-s-save yourself" were his final words. His head bopped to the ground before you could say "hang in there!"
An explosion came from the backyard. I rushed down my solid beige granite staircase. I looked outside to see a giant monster. I say monster because the creature of that shape was not in my studies. This would be a long shot. I had no clue of its weaknesses, its strengths, its level, i would have to wing it.
The monster quickly slammed its mighty fist to the ground. By instinct, I sidestepped to the left heading for the door of my mansion. I rushed up my stairs and quickly selected 10 rings i would need for the epic battlle that would soon come to pass.
I rushed down as fast as I could. The monster had been waiting. It was roaring, pounding, and causing as much demolition as it possibly could. Other gaians had heard its screams and I tried to destroy it. Their solar rings were useless against the mighty beast. Its grey fur rising, and its red eyes narrowing it spun around like a spinning top and quickly knocked everyone in a 10 radius unconcious.
The beast stared at me and quickly tried to squash me where I stood. I sidestepped to the right and jumped on its ungaurded arm. I rushed up, almost losing my balance on the fowl smelling slimy bristles. I quickly activated my mantis ring and gave the monster a slice to the face. I backflipped off his arm before he could give me a good whack to the face. Any damage from this monster could be deadly.
In mid-air I activated my gun ring and summoned a tranquilizer gun. I shot the monsters right arm all the way down to its meaty fingers.
"One arm down" I said to myself.
I was about to finish the monster off when I noticed a dark figure approaching from up in the sky. I couldn't see much but I identified the being to have red hair and dark skin.
"Sentinel!" I screamed in hatred.
"Well if it isn't the master gaian, megamac9." She chuckled wickedly.
"Why are you doing this?" I demanded. "Stop it now!"
"Keep talking like that and you'll meet the fate of Jhonny Gambino!"
"HOW DARE YOU!" I screamed. How dare she talk about my grandfather like that. I jumped on the wall and ran up to the witch. I activated my mantis ring and prepared to aim for her black heart. She quickly grabbed the blade and broke it.
"I could kill you where you stand." She smirked. My teeth were clenched and my knuckles were as white as those teeth. "But that wasn't my reason for coming here. Now it's time to get down to business."
She immediately made a green portal and had a red ball of energy in her hand. She stuffed the ball into my mouth and through me into the portal. That was the last I ever saw of my glorious life.
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i like my muzik
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User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
Good story so far. Just those "I"s makes me twitch in my chair. Otherwise, heart the descriptions. I was confused about the monster, though. Try making the details when your character first sees it. Not as you go along, or "wing it" (I just had to. xD).
Otherwise, the structure is fine, and the grammar is good. Keep practicing and you might be good as me when it comes to my...
"Long-Term Stories".
Haha. Thats a way you can put it.
I should start a story instead of a comic. Don't have samples of my true effort writing.
*Goes to look for a notebook to start writing in*