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BrainAche
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Looking For Confidence
Part 1 || Part 2

I was searching for a place called Confidence. I didn't know how to find it. I didn't know where to look. All I knew is that I'd been stuck for far too long and I really wanted to move on.

Whatever happens, don't turn back.

I wasn't sure why the stranger had given me the key to his car, or what his counsel meant. But there was something familiar in his voice that inclined me to accept his generosity. And I drove out East, on Route V50.

I can see myself. If I look real close, I'm right there. I'm right there.

Who he was, or why I let him drive, I didn't know. All I knew was my crazy self was at the wheel. And he drove like no one I knew.

Don't worry, you'll figure it out.

It was a relief to see this lunatic go. But then as I saw I was back in the same town, I wondered if maybe he'd left some of his lunacy with me.

There's three of us... and counting.

He was the last person I wanted to ride with, but then I could hardly turn myself down. So, we left the bar, got in the car and drove South on Route V50. And it wasn't long before I was regretting my decision.

Confidence doesn't exist. You should turn back while you still can.

He was a miserable companion who did nothing but moan all the way. It was a relief when we pulled up in the intersection.

At least, try to remember to put it in park.

Even though I'd meant what I'd said about not turning back, there was something infectious about his despair. By the time I arrived back in the same town once more, I was starting to wish I'd given up. Like him.

Hey! Hey that's my car!

I was tired. I was thirsty. I was filled with a hopelessness I'd never known before. I couldn't find anyone, not even myself. And then, myself found me.

I was just asking myself the same question.

Knowing as I did that he wouldn't find what he'd sought, that he would only return to where he'd been before, I couldn't help but offer discouragement. And I tried to persuade myself to give up.

I'm not turning back...

I don't know why I didn't just tell him the truth. That I had once been him and he would soon be me and we were both stuck in some kind of riddle. I guess I just didn't wanna sound crazy.

Do you wanna find Confidence? Well, I know where it is!

YES!

Is this your car?
Not anymore. Whatever happens, don't turn back.

I'd found Confidence in a place I'd least expected. And even though I was back where I started, I was glad to have arrived.





 
 
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