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So finnaly you rambled. Feels nice to hear myself read your thoughts for more than 1 minute. It really does.
Most of that makes me recall my relation with my dad. He's not a drunk nor anything. But most of the times he does misjudgements about my character and I don't say anything.
He says I'm a negative person, too apathic, don't have any energy, just want to stay by the computer and do nothing. Fact is, if he knew my school life he wouldn't say that. I'm always energized, I love exagerating, and although I'm a true sarcastic and sinical person, I always try to look through the bright side. But I tend to feel low here because I'm either tired from the week I had or because my dad still tries to make me laugh like he did when I was 7 years old.
It's not bad, but my tastes in comedy changed. And it's annoying when you're watching a show you like and someone comes by making obnoxious comments about it or the characters. Just makes me feel like turning the TV off and smacking his face with the remote.
We had an argument about that. In fact, we had THE first argument in my entire life. Nothing too much though. I probably ended up giving him reason, but it would be worse if I didn't say anything.
Complaining feels good though. You should start seeing it as a good thing. If used right, of course. Alot of times when I accidentaly hit a random body member against something, I like to do a light complain. It's like you're removing the urge to feel really bad so you can show that you're bad.
And like you, checking the differences on people through time is something I do. I notice that before my mother was more collect about herself and cared more about me; now she just wants me beside her because I'm one of her children and not because I'm her son ( If I make myself clear ).
My dad is a bit more calm, maybe because of age but he's starting to untie relations with everyone he knows except me. For example, some years ago he would give birthday and Christmas presents to his family. Now he doesn't, not because of money but because he lost the spirit of it. He always gets in a "whatever" mood with people in a bad way and says something bad about them. I know that everytime he tells me to be more relaxed and positive about things is because he is doing a reflexion of what he is. Why? Because I'm the only relaxed and positive person on this god damned family (except for one of my uncles. Grandman always told me on how though we never admited it to each other, we acted like brothers. I know now that's true, we have a common way of acting and thinking.)
It makes me sad that I recall alot of good moments of our lifes together and he doesn't. Then I think what's the point of living it if then nobody ends up recalling what I lived? Perhaps I keep forgetting things so I don't remember myself that I might be the only one who does remember. But it's funny on how I can't forget what I want to but I keep forgetting what other people don't want to.
But...afterall I don't live to remember, but I live so I can have things to remember.
Kyra, people aren't supposed to work their buts for the meaning of their lifes. Finding the meaning of life is a meaning of life itself. Everyone's like a kid: They follow a base-up from someone they cherish through their lifes untill somehow they create their own base.
I think I created mine. But what about you? Were you a kid? Or did you just skipped that part in hope of creating your own philosophy right off the bat? Because you can't create your own special cake without first practising on the simple ones
Most of that makes me recall my relation with my dad. He's not a drunk nor anything. But most of the times he does misjudgements about my character and I don't say anything.
He says I'm a negative person, too apathic, don't have any energy, just want to stay by the computer and do nothing. Fact is, if he knew my school life he wouldn't say that. I'm always energized, I love exagerating, and although I'm a true sarcastic and sinical person, I always try to look through the bright side. But I tend to feel low here because I'm either tired from the week I had or because my dad still tries to make me laugh like he did when I was 7 years old.
It's not bad, but my tastes in comedy changed. And it's annoying when you're watching a show you like and someone comes by making obnoxious comments about it or the characters. Just makes me feel like turning the TV off and smacking his face with the remote.
We had an argument about that. In fact, we had THE first argument in my entire life. Nothing too much though. I probably ended up giving him reason, but it would be worse if I didn't say anything.
Complaining feels good though. You should start seeing it as a good thing. If used right, of course. Alot of times when I accidentaly hit a random body member against something, I like to do a light complain. It's like you're removing the urge to feel really bad so you can show that you're bad.
And like you, checking the differences on people through time is something I do. I notice that before my mother was more collect about herself and cared more about me; now she just wants me beside her because I'm one of her children and not because I'm her son ( If I make myself clear ).
My dad is a bit more calm, maybe because of age but he's starting to untie relations with everyone he knows except me. For example, some years ago he would give birthday and Christmas presents to his family. Now he doesn't, not because of money but because he lost the spirit of it. He always gets in a "whatever" mood with people in a bad way and says something bad about them. I know that everytime he tells me to be more relaxed and positive about things is because he is doing a reflexion of what he is. Why? Because I'm the only relaxed and positive person on this god damned family (except for one of my uncles. Grandman always told me on how though we never admited it to each other, we acted like brothers. I know now that's true, we have a common way of acting and thinking.)
It makes me sad that I recall alot of good moments of our lifes together and he doesn't. Then I think what's the point of living it if then nobody ends up recalling what I lived? Perhaps I keep forgetting things so I don't remember myself that I might be the only one who does remember. But it's funny on how I can't forget what I want to but I keep forgetting what other people don't want to.
But...afterall I don't live to remember, but I live so I can have things to remember.
Kyra, people aren't supposed to work their buts for the meaning of their lifes. Finding the meaning of life is a meaning of life itself. Everyone's like a kid: They follow a base-up from someone they cherish through their lifes untill somehow they create their own base.
I think I created mine. But what about you? Were you a kid? Or did you just skipped that part in hope of creating your own philosophy right off the bat? Because you can't create your own special cake without first practising on the simple ones
Community Member
I could go on a few things. I spose I had to 'grow up' fairly quickly. Would say I looked up to the people in my dad's family. Even though there's some major faults there, so I mean.. eh. I was never one to question the meaning of life so much. Maybe a random thought here and there, but I'm pretty set. Mark always asked that one a lot. I'm already a shrink with him anyway. I am who I am, I know how I am, and.. I've got a firm grasp of reality dispite the fact that I'm off in lala land a lot of the time. o:
Main problem is the whole 'what do you wanna be when you grow up' deal. Since they started bothering me about it in sixth grade, I got a good mind set on saying I dont know, I dont ******** care. Because really I shouldnt have to care so soon. I worry about any future on my own time regularly, I dont need them telling me to worry about it. Then there's no point. Anyway, I'm not too good with ranting after I wake up. >.>
It's been a while since I've had a rambling conversation with anyone. I was about to say something about me maybe being good with those, but I dont remember, because it's been so long. So, oh well.
Anyway. Maybe eventually I'll drive you insane with my ranting. o: How fun that would be.
Probably should have touched on something else. But uh. Out of it?
I would however like some cake now.
Got some?