Gaaaaah. I can't even put words to what I'm feeling right now. How frustrating! :<
From this point on, it's crazy talk. Feel free to skip to the next journal entry.
A bunch of my head-people, two of my closest being the biggest factor in this, are depressed. Morrits Kitaev (one of my RP characters) is mostly to blame because he's the one who's been invading my psyche lately.
Strange phrase ... But it works. ><; Maybe I should explain some things so the people ( ... are there any?) who read this are much less confused about everything ...
So yes, I do have head-people. It's a term to describe those people who, well, run around my head. Characters from various stories, drawings, role plays. If they aren't in my head, I can't write them - that's not to say I can't write fanfiction, but it's harder for me to do that than to write original fiction. I only know what they tell me, just because they're in my head doesn't mean I have access to all their thoughts and memories. Sometimes, if they let me, then I can be, but only if they let me. It works in reverse, too. Anyway. Those closest to me are those who I interact with most often, the ones I role play for or write stories through most often. Right now, it's Morrits Kitaev and Sen Kawahara. who're absolutely the closest. x___X
Oooh, let's make a list of all those head-people who're still awake!
Sen Kawahara, Selim Goeth, Ana Goeth, Avaris Hunt, Morrits Kitaev, Arebell Kitaev, Virvian Yamashita, Nuri Yaniar, Andriis May, Kaine May, Aron Hunt, Lily Hunt, Evan Hunt, Miles Gold, Avaris Hunt, Kin Hunt, Ada Hunt, Icarus Official, Kael Official, Keith Official, Bandit Official, Anand Official, Anand Aves, Nikolai Kovalenko, James (does he have a last name? I forget it if he does ...), Theo Mihailov, Thea Mihailov, Martha Mihailov, Philos, Sven, Mina, Nina, Tad, and a whole bunch of 'stock' characters who never tell me their names. >>; That's a lot, and those are just who're awake and responding to me. .... I sound crazy, don't I? sweatdrop
Well anyway. These head people can and do affect my own emotions. It's really, really, really annoying when that happens, especially when it's a RP character because I'm not just typing what I see. I'm feeling what they feel at that moment, feeling it through the connection that comes from them being in my head (a double whammy x__X) and I'm reacting to the words in front of me in a secondary way. All at the same time. So having them depressed enough not to want to respond or keep writing makes me feel like crap, I'm not going to lie. So ... Yeah. If you read through all that, congrats! You now know just how effed up in the head I am! =D
T___T
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Tii Len
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