Why can't I get him out of my head? I mean, I'm not trying to forget, but I think of him so often...I am attracted and repulsed by my attraction at the same time.
I loved him so much. Why did things go the way they did? How is it possible for me to have loved him so much and now, to feel indifference, occasionally flaring into anger? I'm not unhappy lately, just numb. I laugh, I smile, I cry, but I'm simply going through the motions. but motions of what? Motions to reach what? What is my goal? Chaos? I have always wanted Chiroru. Now, it is no longer a dream, it is tangible. But I do not want to get there alone. I really had hoped he would have been the one but...
Thinking is a gift. Thinking too long and too hard is a flaw-one both ill used and dangerous in it's own right.
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A Little Peach's Epiphanies
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