Things change as we grow... our minds or bodies our souls. Some grow cold as other grow warmer. Sometimes the people you thought could be most trusted ended up being the exact opposite as the ones you thought would be most untrustworthy become the most trustworthy. It all sums up in 2 words Life and personality. The people you hang around with, the ones your most comfortable with can take a toll on you. This toll can be good or bad. In my case I find nothing of the 2 sorts. Because of this one particular person I let my guard down. I thought it would be okay to trust this person because we are "so close." And like always I was wrong. That person starts driffting away, slipping away, so far you become strangers. All though that point in this so called "friendship" with that particular person isnt to the last to points but the first cycle starts. This cycle or as I like to call it back to being just aquaintences is like this. The person creates new friends which dont get me wrong you can never have enough friends but these friends of that particular person are replacing you in that persons heart, you begin to feel lonely and abandoned. Now see you have other friends that you trust but there will always be that best best friend that knows just about everything about you thats when it hurts the most. From 2 years old I learned people can not be trusted. I learned that some people are more selfish than others and use you or all of the above dont want you. I understood that when she left. Abandonment is also another feeling you develop some stronger than others. In my case I used to be shut off inside, I used to have a wall of my own that would protect me from those feelings. I was hidden inside of myself, on the outside was one of my faces but not my true face, my true face the one i hated most was the one i wear now, the things that make you love and such brought this face out, and i hated it because getting continuously hurt over and over again isnt exactly what I wanted, what I wanted was no emotion except for 6 people who deserve all the love in the world. I was let down not by one of those 6 people but by one who wasnt much like me but i loved the same the friends took over and i dont see why i am a need to this person anymore because obviously she needs "them" more than she would ever need me. Always rubbing it in my face sometimes unintentional other most intentional how great they are. Because honestly I could care less about what goes on between you and them, inside I honestly hate them, but you are to blind and to thick headed to see that, maybe i am a horrible person for not liking your happiness or am I but for one thing deep down somewhere I hate you just as much as i hate them. For that I will never be sorry
