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Fast Forward to Present Day: <Today....it seems fate is trying to kill me> She thought as her form jumped from one emotion to the next. One second fog enveloped her and darkness threatened to swallow her, she had come a long way from the class 2 zOMG warrior she had once been, but nothing in the world could have prepared her for this....a second passes and she regains control for long enough to take the form of a demoness.....then the illusion shatters and her form wavers back to herself...her painful, alone self. <Why did I say that to him.....why.....when everything was so close to being alright, why did I ruin it?! We had so many happy memories together....>
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Halloween 2010: Oh come on Shadou!!!! Hurry lets go to the next area!!!! We have to get lots of these skittles so we can get all the items!!!!!

"Hee hee, this is my favorite time of year!," I said joyfully and I twirled about with my bucket of goodies.

He smiled and said, "Mine too, but the sweetest thing is being here with you....."
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Christmas 2010: "Weeee!!!!! Look at all the pretty snow!!!!!" I said as I ran through the fluffiness to knock on another door for caroling.

He looked around and kinda chuckled at me, "You know it snows where I'm from right?"

Looks up in wonder and said, "Oh that's right! Play in it for me, okay? I've never seen more than an inch of snow before..."

"Alright.....I will...."

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But now.....all of that is gone.....I should have stayed away from him at the very start....I could have sworn I told him this would only hurt him.....but then again....I think it's killing me....her form changes again....becoming ethereal and translucent, nothing more than a spirit and then solidifies again painfully as she falls to her knees. Whatever God is it that hears the cursed.....please.....let him forgive me. He meant more to me as a friend then as anything else.....Shadou Spike.....I'm so sorry for ever hurting you.....

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Just a few hours before: With a sad smile I admitted that I didn't understand him him very well as the events from the last few days played through my mind....yesterday he gave me a choice, asking me if I wanted to be with him, I told him "no" even though it killed me to do so, because I thought it was what he wanted to hear...but later....when he saw me heartbroken and crying, he took me back and acted like it was a test to see if I'd fight for him. He said he loved me, and while I couldn't figure out why he'd hurt me that way, I loved him and was more than willing to overlook it, even though he seemed like he'd want to test me again....I wanted him, even though right now it hurt....I thought at the time that it would get better....I was so wrong I should have never brought up what he had done before...but I was terrified he'd do it again, tell people I wasn't stable... this stranger that seemed to have taken control of the man I loved....I couldn't understand him I had no way to know what he would do next....but still I just shouldn't have said something so stupid....not when he was so mad at me....

"Well, we can still be friends, just so long as you don't go back to your friends and tell them all that I'm crazy, because otherwise I'll find a way to make you pay, I don't know how, but I will," I said...still hurt from everything that had happened the last two days, still so confused by him...

His eyes cold, hurt and now shining with tears, "Obviously, you don't know me at all if you'd think I'd call you crazy. I'll say this, ******** you. I can't believe you'd AGHHHHHH!! GOODBYE!!!!!!!!

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Well, he wasn't wrong.....I guess I don't know him at all....I guess he'll probably never forgive me....because some part of my mind thinks he might one day, and that he wouldn't want to throw everything away. I'm sure I'm wrong though....I've never understood people....guys particularly....a thousand more centuries could pass and I'll still never understand....it's why I'm better at not being close to people. It's why I'll end up alone....sure....some poor guy will think he loves me....but in the end....when he gets bored or realizes I'm not what he wants, he'll leave. They all do...still, I'll throw myself into my work and pretend it's all okay, because that's what everyone wants, as I die inside they want me to do it with a smile on my face. Sigh....whatever.....I'll give the peons what they want as I make this world go down into darkness kicking and screaming. I'll drag it all down with a smile.