Things You Should Know Before Reading:
[oo1]None of this was actually written by me. It came from the thread ▶ ι нαтє sσмєтнιиg yσu dσ ◀ and all credit should go to amaranth and acacia, not to me, for putting together such a funny and awe-inspiring thread.
[oo2]This list is long and specific. Chances are you do something in this list. I probably do some of these things from time to time, too. This does not mean that I hate you in any way, shape, or form. In fact, if I hated you, I probably wouldn't have even added you. So for the love of God, respect my pet peeves, don't hate on them. kthnxbai <33
[oo1]None of this was actually written by me. It came from the thread ▶ ι нαтє sσмєтнιиg yσu dσ ◀ and all credit should go to amaranth and acacia, not to me, for putting together such a funny and awe-inspiring thread.
[oo2]This list is long and specific. Chances are you do something in this list. I probably do some of these things from time to time, too. This does not mean that I hate you in any way, shape, or form. In fact, if I hated you, I probably wouldn't have even added you. So for the love of God, respect my pet peeves, don't hate on them. kthnxbai <33
[oo1] Anyone who says "labels are for soup cans." Yes, they
******** are, because if they weren't there you wouldn't know
WHAT KIND OF SOUP YOU WERE ******** DEALING WITH. It
does apply to people, as well. So get over it.
[oo2] Idiot writers who make money off of the shittiest books
imaginable (ie: Meyers), and have fans that use the word "saga"
when they don't even know what it means.
[oo3] The way that so many of my fellow countrymen feel they're
"too good" to do manual labor jobs, like picking fruit, but they still
b***h when immigrants come and take those jobs that they didn't
want in the first place.
[oo4] People who respond to threads with nothing but a notifi-
cation that their avatar is in the arena and should be voted for, or that
they have a quest and are essentially Jehovah's Witnessing for dona-
tions, or-- worst of all-- memes that weren't funny the FIRST time.
[oo5] People who shove a picture of themselves into their sig-
nature, and then add a tag to tell what gender they are, even when it
is PAINFULLY obvious that they're only posing and want attention.
[oo6] People who make excuses for why they're on the internet
("I've got a broken arm", "I'm sick", etc) as if being online makes them
some kind of leper. If you're hideously maimed or ill, get back to bed.
Read a ******** book. Conversely, if you actually enjoy being on the net,
don't pretend that the only reason you're in front of your laptop is be-
cause you're dying.
[oo7] Windows, from start to finish.
[oo8] Anyone who uses a fictional statistic in order to make
themselves feel special. "98% of teens supposedly do this, but because
I copied and pasted this into my signature or profile to say that I'm part
of the supposedly superior 2%, I'm obviously smarter than the rest of
the planet!"
[oo9] Anyone who says they are "random." Once you agknowledge
that you are "random", you open up the possibility-- and probability--
that you aren't. Chances are, you're doing it on purpose for attention,
meaning that your actions are premeditated, and that you are obviously
the exact opposite of what you say you are.
[o1o] Otherkin. You are not a unicorn, or a dragon, or a griffin.
You are a lonely, awkward person with some issues (probably sexual)
that you need to resolve. If you try to growl at me, or make little claw
gestures with your hands, I'm going to laugh at you. Srsly.
[o11] The dumb MySpace-oriented "romance" memes that girls
seem to like to shove all over their profiles. You know the ones. "He
gave her 11 real roses and 1 fake one.." They aren't cute, they aren't
sweet. Anyone who actually thinks they are is braindead enough that
those kinds of lines will have them on their back, legs spread, within
about five minutes. Because that's the ONLY reason a guy would do/say
the bullshit in those memes. To get in your pants.
[o12] The way people b***h, moan, and complain that they're
being "ignored" if no one comments on their picture in a PYP thread to
tell them how devilishly sexy they are. Have you ever considered that
you're just not all that breathtaking, and nobody wants to waste their
time telling you that you are? Or maybe-- wonder of wonders-- the
thread moved too ******** fast and no one even SAW your picture. May-
be you should post another one, which doesn't feature your dirty bath-
room.
[o13] People who piss and moan about the quality of art that
they get in the Art FREEBIES forum. Honestly, people. Honestly.
[o14] Idiot scammers who still think that the old "You've been
reported, send me your password" thing will work. I've never fallen for
it in the past, and I'm not going to fall for it just because you joined
the rest of us in knowing how to make .gif images.
[o15] People who tell me they will "have their dad call his lawyer"
and get me "kicked off Gaia/the internet" for "insulting them", all while
their friend spams the thread with constant posts telling me to "Shut up
and get out, whitey!!!!!!" I don't think I need to point out all the levels
of stupidity in this one. Lazar Wolfe was neither a laser, nor a wolf. Dis-
cuss.
o16] Halfwits who think that typing "mew/mrow/meow" is an ap-
propriate greeting-- or worse, people who do this suffering from the
misconception that it makes them sound cute. What it makes you sound
like is a five year old. Goo-goo-boo-boo-bah-bee-pah-pah~ Does that
sound attractive? No? Then do us all a favor and shut the ******** up.
[o17] People who make up sob stories about why they deserve
a donation. Their dog/mom/dad/grandmother died, it's their birthday
and they haven't even gotten a single present, not to mention their
gf/bf left them, ohnoes! Or, even worse, they'll make a thread about
how one of their friends died, and that friend's dying wish was to have
an angelic sash! Give me a ******** break.
[o18] Internet gangsters. That's right. 'Crips' and 'Bloods' on the internet,
talking about how they're going to bust a cap or have a gang war. In an online
forum. Seriously, guys. The only thing more pathetic and sad that being dumb
enough to be a real gang member is pretending to be one on Gaia.
[o19] People who attempt to compare Harry Potter and Twilight. This really
chaps my a**, because the two are extremely different, and the only real thing they
have in common is that they're massively popular and both started as novels. Other
than that? You might as well be comparing apples and carcasses. They're both carbon-
based, but past that point you just sound ******** crazy.
[o2o] People who are suddenly pleased as punch to eat crow as soon as they
realize it's me they're arguing against. This has happened about ten times now, and
it never fails to make my head explode. If you've got something to say, and you're going
to stand behind that statement, you better not come crawling out from under it the
second you start taking flak from a "friend" or someone you "look up to." It's a puss
move, and it makes you look even more retarded than you did in the first place.
[o21] Retarded little shits who PM me to b***h at me about arguments I had with
their friends, in threads that are from ages ago. Not only do they always prove to be
somehow less intelligent than the person I originally proved wrong, but they love to try
to say that they're functional adults even when their inability to communicate screams
that they can't be anything other than a pissy pre-adolescent. The greatest part is
that they're typically too spineless to actually wait for me to reply, so they toss a comment
or PM my way and then immediately ignore-list me before I can ream them.
[o22] Morons who think having the last word means ultimate victory, even if that
last word is as pathetic and ******** as saying, "You fail" to someone who has owned
you at every turn. Seriously, kids. When you've hit the end of the line and you just can't
find any way to defend your argument anymore? Give the ******** up. It assures that you
don't receive a futher trouncing, and it makes you seem more intelligent than if you try
to suddenly pronounce yourself the winner for no good reason.
[o23] ******** shitdicks who tell me that I should go to ED if I want to talk to anyone
with any ability to debate, defend an argument, or make conversation that doesn't consist
of "lolololol dinosaurs im drunk fvck u gais!" Mental ability has nothing to do with what forum
you're based in, for one. And for two, I'm never going to lower my standards just because
some numb-between-the-ears panty waste thinks I'm "too serious." I'm not going to ED.
Have you even BEEN to that ******** waste of space? It's like the Deleware of Gaia. You
get there, and you're bored and pissed off before you've even SEEN anything.
[o24] Pieces of s**t who do not turn their head when they cough or sneeze.
It is because of you walking snotfarms that I have a possible case of the ********
pigsniffles. Is it really so difficult to face a different direction if you feel the need
to expell a hacking mass of mucous from every hole of your head? And you mouth-
coverers are no ******** better, so don't get smug! Sure, you cover your mouth or
your nose, but you're using your ******** hand, which you promptly use to touch
everything within a ten mile radius.
[o25] The dozens of users sitting around the forums, trying
to farm 100 quotes or 500 posts in some thread no one gives a
damn about. You want your achievement for having 500 responses
to some inane topic you brought up? Learn to be more ********
interesting! You want your thread to last in the CB without a
single post in a span of 24 hours? Gee, Sherlock, maybe you
SHOULDN'T title it, "Invisible Achievement!!!! DON'T POST!!!!" Am
I the only one who thinks you should get these little badges
based on actual forum participation, instead of just mindless
begging or bumping?
